last blog of 2008..

today is 31st of dec 2008...
the last date of dec..
i wasnt hapi today..
even i try my best to control n let myself to be hapier..
but things doesnt working..
i don wish to cross my end of the year lik tat..
but everything doesnt help me to do so..
i hate hate hate hate now..
am i easy to bully?
tats y im the victim?
will they ever consider my feeling???
will ever they stand on myself side n care of me???
why should i care them so muc??
who am i to them???
when they nd sum1, here come to me..
should i learn to said no then being the yes gal??
im working split stiff today..
i don mind..i should in hostess today..
but i was being told tat dinner there's 3 hostess..
they doesnt need me thr..
but i need to cover the hostess to go break..
wats tat mean??
u said u got so many hostess, then y still nd me to cover since u got enuff power thr??
then throw me to floor..
i should end at 8pm..
kiasi, kiasu, ask me to stay till 11pm,
reason help up n could count down together..
nvr ask me, put my stiff from 630 to 11pm at floor..
i could do anything where they wan to put me..
either floor or hostess..
but my time to company is only 8hours..
after tats my own time, if i wan to work more or not,
is as i lik, but this doesnt seem lik wat happening..
is bcz everything i said yes, nvr reject mean i will alwis ok or they are taking advantage??
i pretend not to realise it..
they ask me to stya till 11pm..
ok fine i will stay even i noe is not bz..
doesnt nd tat muc of staff anyway..
thr's many excuses being gvn..
is prove tats not bz..
told me tat if i wan to back i can back..
mean what??
u doesnt nd me anymore??
wan me to go back??
wats tat mean le??
u nd me then i stay no then go home..
today is eve of new year..
if let said my frenz date me out tonite..
but i tot i was working till 11pm..
i rejected the request..
then how le??
not onli tat..
once i go up..
nth was done..
still ask me y i dress lik tat??
dont u see the floor plan..
trying to tease me or wat??
im thr, every1 gone, gone for dinner..
im alone settle the buffet,
din u even plan send sum1 for earlier break..
since is enuff staff..
every1 bz taking pic..the menu wasnt done by me..
how i noe where it should be..
i nd to ans the pho.
do food tags..
then how??
if din finished who help me??
after finished from break, din even ask whether i settle the buffet,
gone to take pic oso..
is it tat nice the buffet??
tat shit dress damn big, argh!!
every1 was laughing...
im so angry..wats tat..
feel tat im kind lik a ball..
being throw to everyplace where nded..
tats the bad way of thinking..
in the good way, said i capable,
can go any place..
if im reli tat capable then promote me lo
any discussion let me noe lo..
but this even involve me..
i'll alwis the left out..
i reli reli upsad..
when i joined, we add every1 as team members..
as family member.. we r in a team..
but it don seem as,is jz each using each..
playing, fooling around..
im so tired..
feel lik going home..
in actually i don reli nd to be tat suffer for life..
why should i??
tat day elbert said i bring geo to balcony..
bring geo to drink..
seem lik i force geo even i noe he shouldnt take alcohol..
wats tat mean??
im so so so bad till spoilt ppl's health??
im sure a evil to destroy everything..
im a disaster??
im so cheap tat every single tat i do, i went out wit a guy..
mean i simply social wit guys??
i still remember..
tats a manager said this phares b4..
" look at her, oso noe she not virgin la"
i virgin or not is not ur matter..
but wat u said make bad impressure to me..
ppl being so irritating..
argh..

more then a month

is been long time i din on9 n writ emy blog le..
theres few time i wish to write but time doesnt allow..
many things happened to me..
many things has change..
i wish to hide, i wish to return back..
but time doesnt do so..
b4 i go back to ipoh,
i oledi change..
im no more lik last time..
i got many things to reconsider..
many things force me..
i hv try to change..
but cant..i hate myself
at work..
no matter hw hard to do, i cant complte my job, done the best i can..
everyday i wil mess up sumthing, i din bring my heart to work..
i cant reli concentrate no matter how hard i try..
i doesnt present myself the best i could..
im droping..droping to a place i oso not sure where it wil be..
i tot of resigning n go back home..
throw everything back
but it doesnt who i am who away run away..
im watching a drama name"ka hau yu yuan"
tats a character name " yun so chao"
i feel i kind of her..
i alwis mess things up..
not sure wat i wan, look lik pity from outside..
i try to cover all i donwan ppl to see..
i don hv " guan ka chai"
i don hv "lin B"
i don hv i don hv..
i donnoe wat i hv..
im living alone in my own world..
tats one day iz ask me to station 2 n sit down wt her n chat wt her..
she noe tats sumthing wrong wt me..
i oso noe tat..
but the problem at where i oso donnoe..
am i too tired..
am i too stress..
am i think too muc..
am i am i??
she wish to see the jesslyne she noe at 1st..
i oso wish too..
but i donnoe where to find back the jesslyne tat energitic, positive, hapi..
im tired everyday, im angry everyday, im boring everyday..
i wan to talk wt sum1 but i donnoe who i can look for..
i wish to share wat i experinced but to who i should share wt..
suddenly feel of soing to genting alone..
go thr n freezy myself..
go thr find my frenz..
tat day when i go back i saw a fren-ah fai..
the one i noe at genting palace, the cook..
he came here n work..
but he seem cant recognice me..
he is the one who sayang me alot, introdunce me to a better restaurant..
hemm..i think mayb he forget me le..
i start to hate many ppl..
i start to keep everything inside myself..
i start to talk less..
i start to stay alone..
i start to anti social..
sumthing is wrong wit me..
but i donnoe wats tat..
i oso fooling ppl's feeling..
i noe reave lik me..
whenever i alone, n boring..
i wil make him accompany me..
i noe this may lead gving him a hope..
but i noe i don lik him..
as fren i don mind but not as couple..
another guy name kok soon..
he's quite nice..look gentle n honest..
i ever think of asking him to be my bf..
am i so desperate??
no iam not..
tats not me..
me n eddie getting worst..
tat day when i back to grandma's home..
i accidentally wait til the time tat may cruse the same bus wt him..
i sit at the bus stop for half an hour to wait the time come..
but at last i din meet him at the bus..
fate doesnt mean us to meet..
christmas coming..
i love christmas alot..
but i cant feel the christmas feel as usual..
wat i feel of is i feel so suffer..
i donnoe why..
i wish to cry but cant..
after i cry i may feel better..
but cant..
i feel tat im b coming more n more irratating..
useless...
i hate my self..
i hate n hate n hate..
i miss all my ex bf..
even sum doesnt good too me..hurt me..
but..i think i feel better tat time..
sumtime don feel lik going home..
wish to sit alone at a chair or at the garden..
got one day, i reli reli sad..
i go n tell geo tat i wan resign..
the 1st time i said i wan resign, no matter last time hw stress i am..
then i ask sunny wheher he free..
i ask leong whether he free n accompany for a drink..
i din ask geo cz i hv been troubling him so muc..
sunny tell he meeting his frens..
leong tell he working tomolo n got to go home le..
elbert on leave..
i feel i kind of wt nth in this world..
tat time is 11pm i finished work..
i reach at bus stop at 1145pm lik tat..
suddenly i drop a few tears..
i feel im so cham..
so alone, no1 care me le..no1 wan me le..
i veli scare..
when i go up to the bus..
i look at the window my tears still coming out..
wish to sit alone n look at the sky, cry n cry..
try many things to make myself to cry but still cant..
leaving in a world of myself

he called

tek seng called me
quite some time din heard his voice..
miss his voice..once listen to it, noe is him..
nth change to his voice..
he called cz he lazy sign in somemore..
as his msn keep on dc..
we talked about po po..
said wat happened..
hw po po treat him last time, wait him come back from work..
cook leong sui for him..
when he gone back to ipoh to study..
both cry le..
talk about his study..
he is hving exam soon..
got a chance to other country study but he din go..
the reason is his parent..
about his plan, his family, wat he wan..
soon his semester break dec if not wrong he wil come to sg le..
hemm...
talk about me..
about him..about the past..
about duration of sleeping he had..
haha..
din cry this time but miss him so so muc..

my room

yesterday i went to view my room..
im going to share my room wt sum1..
anyway beter then nth..
cz at 1st found a room at whampoa thru agent..
suddenly the agent din ans my pho..
everything was fine b4..==
then one of my fren said the place he staying now..
got a gal looking for sum1 to share..
the owner oso ok de..
it is at ang mo kio..
the room quite small..
no heater but can boil water..
hemmm..
my life wil restart once move out..
hope good thing happen after tat..
then i went home n on9..
i feel lik kind of fall a sick again..
lik fever..
shit! i keep on sick recently..
then this morning go out tot buy some big big boxes to pack..
but cant find..use money to buy oso cannot get..
haiz..
then headache seem get worst..
so decide to go home..
reach home on9 n pack my things..
hving difficulty to pack..
so many things to pack..
but no space n boxes..
plan to move in on sun..
tats y nd to pack things out le..
hope could successfully pack..
my fren said this is all bcz i shop alot so now many things to pack..
hemm
or i wil throw watever is useless..
==

mountain of trouble..

things seem nvr get settle..
one by one deal..
one by one rinse..
==
so boring n tired thinking alot this..
now i got prob wt the senior hostess..
she said i make her lik stupid..
nvr inform her anything..
when she sms me ==...
donnoe tomolo got wat to heard le..
but she seem lik reli reli angry this time..
donnoe hw le tomolo when go to work..
i still nd to work same stiff wt her summore..
haiz..
i jz settled my room..
now this happened..
my headache getting worst..
is like 24 hours pain..
any1 can help me???

discussion

i plan to go back ipoh nxt week for leave..
but i din inform the hostess's team..
so the person manage the roster not feeling hapi it..
== is lik a big deal i go for leave..
got to infrom every1 n ask every1..
but i told peter about it le..
beside tat, i tell him about my feeling..
hw i feel lik working in hostess..
i kind of droping now..
as every1 notice tat..
i cant do well in hostess..
as some of the captain said as well..
im more confident in floor then at hostess..
but i feel kind of escape if now i go back floor..
is lik i fail hostess so i go back floor..
then mean i forever fail in hostess.
i do ask the senior in hostess..
she did said i kind of blur sumtime but over all i still ok de..
n me myself i do realise it..
so peter said he will try to see how to arrange..
he wil discuss wit iz see whether can put me back to floor..
he did gv me sum advise as well..
==..
after telling him all this, kind of feel free le...
petter do ask me is lik sumthing bothering me..
isnt it about personal lik love or wat..
my ans was both personal n work..
everything mess up..
n my dear manager he was considerate..
he use a better tune n advise for me..

31st oct

as my fren u should this date mean alot..
shouldnt forget it..
haha..
in western country this a halloween day..
n for me it is a big day for me..
is my bday..^^
i was duty to work on tat day..
summore is spilt stiff..==
from morning til nite..
in the middle break 5 hours..
so at the morning, some of my collegues oledi wish me..
then, during break time..i hv lunch wt geo..
then i went to meet voen n chay at a pub near by..
sean joined us later..
haha..tat voen n chay said go washroom..
but earlier they oledi prepare a cake for me..
n chay specially get a chocolate mouse cake for as im crazy chocolate lover...
wow~~ i was so full man..
then we sat n chat laugh..
i go back to work..
then voen n her younger bro celebrate his bday in oscar..
then i meet voen after work n go cineleisure n meet up wt sean..
geo joined us as well..
then chay came later as she went back to bought for family..
tat nite reli hv fun..
i love u guys...muacksss.. ^^
kah yee was the 1st one to wish me on 30th
then follow by kiasu elbert(actually he mistake the date)==
then geo on 31st 12midnite...
follow by reeve,voen,my sis, my sai lo,mum,and ....
ivan who yum cah wt me 30th donnoe my bday..haha..
but at last sure elbert tell him about it..
so ivan called to wish me on 1st..
even is late but better then nth..

joe teng

joe is a guy tat love so muc..
o might not hv this feeling the second chance..
but i nvr regret fall in love to him..
is worth it to me..
i saw him on9 one nite..
i go n hv a talk wt him..
we start wt sum joke..
then suddenly start to go to serious ques..
i said he dissapoint many ppl..
tot jz fool him abit..
donnoe why suddenly tell all the thing..
all about the past..
hw things happened..
how muc i love him tat time..
wat i crossed tat time..
how sad i am..
how he treat n change me..
all this things was out..
i tot i scare him..
i told my sis tat i tell him this..
she afaird we cant be fren anymore after i told him this..
anyway we still keep as good fren..
we stil start joking around..
haha..
i ask who am i to him..
wat kind of gal am i to him..
he keep on saying im good gal..
even his bro oso said tat im good n nice gal..
he even ask me is he tat good or worth for me to love him..
i cant imagine i told him tat..
for me u are great enuff for me to fall in..
in this world tats no prefect person..
but hw imperfect he is..
to me he is worth to stay beside..
wow~~ i said tat out from myself..
haha..sound lik im so brave le..
after telling him this all..
i do ask him whether we stil good fren..
he told me tat we r forever ever..
he felt so soli n guitly...
ask him not to as i nvr regret to noe him..
as he bring to another of life..who change me to a better person..
i jz wish i couold see the same old him with full of spirit, energy n dreams..
^^ kind of feel flying aorund..
abit of release..

moving

ppl alwis tell me not to think so muc..
or they will said i think a lot..
ask me to relax..
but i dont think this should be delay anymore..
moving..
i start to hv this mind since i came to sg..
but after 8months i stil staying at the same place..
once i get a nice place wit cheap rent..
but i doesnt wan to blame my fren..
so better don mention..
i was so aggressive looking look after i back from leave..
but the rent is just to high for me now..
n one day..
i received a msg..
is from my aunt..
she asking me when i intend to find a place for myself..
as her son nd his own space study..
so my grandma nd to move back to the room where by im staying in..
so ppl oledi said it out..
n is not tat i din realise the thing earlier..
but i jz cant get it..
i don hv tat asset..
this things bothering me so muc..
my head is turning n turning now..
my fren advise me to delay to dec..
but i don wish to anymore..
even i told my aunt tat around nov or dec i wil be moving..
but tats no more feel staying there anymore..
no mean anymore..

man

should i believe in man anymore..
last nite i got a fren who work in the kitchen..
i stil remmeber the 1st time we noe each no longer..
he ask me alot of questions..
he ask me to be his gf..
he ask my hp num..
but i din gv him..
n last nite he came to tell me tat he is leaving..
no longer wil b in conrad..
tats he's last nite working..
i was a bit susprised..
but then i realise he might lie to me as i cheat him b4 about tat..
actually i was just jk..
then i confirm another staff in kitchen..
he told actually he jz go for leave..
going back to get marry..
the whole kitchen n noe about tat..
i felt lik im so idiot stupid believe him..
he treat so well,so protective..
but who noe he is a man who getting marry soon..
n still come close to me..
tell me this n tat..
what the hell it is..
i stil react cool..
i ask him hw long it wil b..
he told is wil b 2 weeks..
but going back doing sumthing not important..
hw could he said tat..
marridge is once of teh most important in life..
hw will the gal tat marry him??
i feel so dissapointed..
im not sure who should i believe on..
man couldnt b trust in love side..
could be fren but be careful if to the nxt step of it..

sick

i feel lik im kind of sick recently..
is not a normal sick..
i don feel lik working..
im tired..
currently i work afternoon..
i find hard for me to fall asleep during nite time..
mayb tats the reason i hv headache as well..
last week i cant even eat muc..
hwever if i work afternoon is better then i work morning..
i stil hv more time to sleep the nxt day..
no nd to wake so early..
but if work morning i got to wake up atleast 5am..
imagine i jz sleep 4 to 6 hours onli..
tats may enuff for other but not me..
==
i wanted to get some medical help..
but i delay n delay..
at last on thur i get to see doctor le..
she gave me some sleeping pill which will relax myself..
some pain killer n gastric pill as the pian killer wil make me gastric..
i din take the sleeping pill..
i keep on cant sleep,
alot of things i think of..
i call my sis..
i sms my fren til i fall as sleep..
is been for a few nite..
i stil go to work as usual..
no1 seem noe tat i sick..
expect geo..

do i noe where am i going to?

im donnoe wat im doing whether is rite or wrong..
im not sure i reli wan..
cant concentrate on wat im doing..
start to hate myself..
im not sure wat im doing n i wan is reli truth
feel tat im so false sumtime..
i totally confuse..
i can be a nice gal in this moment
but the nxt second might not..
might do sumthing tat dissappointed ppl..
it seem so confusion wat im telling now..
in my work place..
i keep on doing sumthing wrong..
things doesnt goes well..
i donnoe why..
is not lik wat im doing..is not usual me..
i keep on forgeting everything..
is not me..
im the most good memory among my family..
but not now..wat happened to me..
im dropping..
im making everyone dissapointed..
im doing well..
ppl use to trust on wat i did..
confident on wat i did..
but i did now is totally the other of it..
in my personal life..
everything is so mess..
joe appear back to my life..
i tot is oledi over..
but i keep on asking myself whether i love eddie or joe..
y do i feel sad when i saw his pic wt a gal..
y i stil miss him so muc..
y i start cry after the nite i met him back..
then met eddie at work
the way we look n react is so depress inside..
then i keep on done something tat wrong
spoiltly my imagine..
tired of being good n nice gal anymore
cz of joe n eddie, i keep on thinking
even at work..
i donnoe wat im doing..
seem so stupid n idiot in my whole life..

tears

after so long, i stop crying
try to control everytime sad
but not this time..
heart beat so fast after drank a bottle of apple vodka..
cant think muc but sad..
i don lik myself lik tat..

teng

once again i think of him..
hard to get out of my brain again..
i inform him this morning tat i change my msia num..
received his num make my heart soft..
lik last time when reach his msg but not as tat exticed..
still keeping his msg lik last time..
don feel wana delete his num, delete his msg, delete him from my memories..
i got his email le..
added in my mail box..
suddenly at nite, when on9, think of him, wish to see him..
he change his fs..i view in thr's onli 3 frenz..
look at his pics..
seem lik he is hapi wt his life now..
look at him seem miss him..
after long time staring at the pic..
realise tat actually he is not as tat handsome as i think of last time..
but he reli slim down..
mz b veli hard the life now..
in the msg he sent, he said
if not bz wt assignment, he wil back this week so might could meet up..
do we reli could meet up?
wil i act lik last time?
wil i b better?
the last time we met was he went to sg for a short vacation..
anyhow, why am i lik this??
r my heart to eddie?
or i stil gving myself an excuse..
i should b strong,tough,
i couldnt gv up, i mz keep on my life..
tek seng, all the best..
i hope this is the last drop bcz of u..

back home

hemm..
this time going back home feel different the usual..
last time back jz feel wana meet up wt frenz..
but this time i feel wana stay at home wt family..
even come back 4days onli..
but i do feel hapi coming back..
nth muc i hv done..
the 1st day i hv oledi took my favourite chee cheong fun..
but abit dissappointed, is not as delicious as i remember it is..
then lunch went to "9 wong yeah"
at nite went to the new food count..
hemm..seems lik back is bcz foods onli..
back eat alot..wanton mee, pan mee, bak kut teh,kenny roger,....
mum cook oso..
dad came on wed nite jz to see me..
then on thur early morning he went back to work..
i noe he veli tired..
he jz went back n hv a dinner wt me..
suppose he wana back on tues which my chinese bday..
but he cant manage to do so cz too bz to settle all of things..
so he postpone to the nxt day..
mum was jz fech me wherever i wana go..
hemm.feel lik im back so troubling..
even my sis, she is on exam, she chat wt me then read her books..
when i request sumthing it wil b done..
yea one more thing..
my msia hp num has been change cz too long din use le..
more then 3months so they cut my line n cant b use anymore..
i changed another num le..
long time din contact fren oso suddenly call or sms back..
tek seng chat wt me awhile..
chat wt chee kin oso after lost contact..
went out met ivan on fri morning before he go back taiping..
met wei kee on wed in the middle of her rest ..
went out wt mei mei after her school at parade..
before take my bus back spore..
went to take my spec which spent RM450..
went to visit my aunt, cousins n nephew..
the last but not least my grandma..
feel wana cry when think of her..
everytime i come back and saw her..
she is more n more skinny then before..
i know her health is not improve..
i wish i could do sumthing for her..
but i donnoe what i could do..
grandma i reli love alot..

tiring

due to the F1 tat hv at singapore..
n our hotel is one of those hotels included in this event..
cz of this event, the whole hotel is so bz..
many of the star star level ppl to our hotel..
out timing of working oso been prolong..
my stiff is so different everyday..=.=
the most horrible, i was arranged work morning where i most scare of..
scare of cant wake up in the morning..
=.=" coming this week oso nd to work morning for 3days..
back to the F1 event..
many change been done..
there's two plasma tv at our restaurant,..
the timing of dining oso change abit..
which make us so rush to turn over..
during nite time, at terrace so noise of the racing sound..
then the bus i take to work oso been affected..
going to work is ok..but going back got to find another way of it..
sometime after arrange the schedule, but u may stay for a couple of hours..
summore lik tat day i work nite, wait for transport oso nd wait so long,
cz got alot of ppl take transport..
hemm..the 1st time take transport nd 1 n a half hour to reach home..

him

the topic still on him..
when will this end??
is this mean i still love him??
n how could this be??
after all the unreasonable attitude he make..
hemm..tat day saw him, when i came out from the ladies at hotel..
the 1st time he grin to me after this long time..
could see is so false..being force to.. not sincere..
hemm..even thought this is better then before this..
better then cant each even is thr...lik invisible..
wonder why?
im i tat stupid or wat?
tats so many ppl interested into me..
but i hv alwis choosen sum1 tat cant treat back as how i did..
i wonder is him the one..
hw's the future wil b..
wil it b better or worst..
hemm~~~~~~~

last mon-15/9

on 15th of sept..
the 1st time i went to banquet to help up..
i got to dress up lobby loungh clothes..
which is top in white n skirt in black..
so unlike me..but nvm la..i jz work casual labour onli..
not everyday got to wear lik tat then ok lo..
actually is banquet they hv a chinese function.
so they nd summore ppl to help n they oso got wedding dinner the same day..
desmond went to iz see who could do the casual labour..
as i din work on mon n tue as well..
y not earn sum le..(recently not enuff $$,hahaha)
i start work from 5pm to 9pm..
but i went out early to lil indian to buy sumthing n on9..
cz if i on9 at home she wil nag alot..
working thr actually is quite nice..
all i nd to do is serving onli..
william from oscar's oso thr tat nite to help..
alex n the chinese main chef oso thr..
we all reli hving fun tat nite..^^
no wonli i realise tat on the same orietation wt the desmond actually is the banquet's director..lol
yea tats another guy from banquet tat i don lik..
cz he alwis taught he is so ying..=.=
he said this"how come oscar's ppl is here??"
i was lik" how come oscar's ppl cant b here??"
anyway..everything was jz great the whole nite..
miss chinese restaurant..miss the smell..keke..

hateness

hemm..is veli obvious tat he is avoiding me..
doesnt welcome me in his life..
but rite now it reli doenst matter me anymore..
if he wan to cont lik tat..
i cant fixed it if he wanted to cont it..
anyhow i start to lik the stiff without him..
i wont feel stress or i don hv to pretend..
the heart feel sumthing tat i cant descride it..
is not pain or anger..sumthing else..
when im on the way to work today..
i came across a few bus stop..
this feeling came back..
the scare n heart jump fast..
the last time i experinced this is when i saw him early in the morning same bus wit me..
but now he wasnt thr..
but i scare if who's noe mayb we reli in the same bus again..
wat should i do..
after pass the bus stop tat possiblity to meet him..
n he wasnt in..
i feel muc better..
hemm..this idiot..i stil don und wat i hv did tat make him lik tat..

elbert

a senior where i work wt..
tats elbert..hemm..
sumtime he said he doesnt care or tease u..
but in his heart tat doesnt real..
he jz playing n making fun..
he stil care n love..
tats make him so cute..
he might blame but he stil wil done his job as well as he could..
is a capable, willing to teach the newbie..
knowledgable tat reli impress me..
the patient during guiding the rite way is one of wat i admire..
the words he use to calm one's heart do make u drop tears..
the voice he hv to sing any songs, cant descride by words..
so soft,touchy n gentle is it..
is one of those guys voice i admire during singing..
after ivan gone back to msia..
he is the one i wil mostly head to when problem come..
he may alwis tease or gv negative mind..
but behind of it is he scare things comes wrong to me..
when u nd him he wil b thr..
when im alone he wil get me along wt the activities..
may said he is a kepo n might split thing around..
but tats oso cz he care then onli he wil kepo..
outside may look lik a big boy lik fooling around..
when things come he do hv the maturity..
he do make a plan n think wisely..
im glab i hv him beside after ivan gone..
sum1 lik a brother tat can take care n protect if any1 bully or hurt..
the most touchy sentence he ever said tat i might not erase from my brain..
" even my post isnt high but could said im most senior here,if any1 bully or being not fair to u,let me noe,i wil be thr to help cz i und wat u feel"
tats the elbert i noe..

joybook benq

at last i got my own laptop..
i bought it at $1488..
feel abit expensive but i lik it alot..
any hw im hving difficulty to use..
as it is using the vista proggrame..
haha..cant believe after bought it..
i tot i could hv more time at home n use it..
listen songs(my motive of buying laptop)..
but donnoe hw to connect to internet as im using the wireless..
=.="
hemm..but nvm..jz nd abit of time to learn it..
then i wil hv a great time of it..
nth is impossible for me..
wakakaka

hyper bz

reli too bz til i din hv a chance to write a blog recently..
hemm from where should i start wit??
ok ok..as wat my memory remember is,,,
on thur last week of august.,i work morning then at nite i went out wt sum1 til late..
then the nxt morning on fri i work split stif..
mean from 7am i work til 2pm then break i go to pc fair walk walk then back to work at 530pm til 8pm..
the nxt day i go for my run competition between the hotels..
i woke up at 6am cz nd to reach there at 830am..
then after the competition i went to suntec back to go for the pc fair..
as i plan to buy a laptop this time..
i met up wt patrick n bang..
around 830pm lik tat we all went home..
then on sun morning i got to wake up at 530am to go for the amway's charity from 830am til 2pm..
then i got to rush to work at 3 but i told them tat i won be on time so i reach at work at 4pm..
i work til 12midnite..=.="
the nxt morning on monday i work morning which mean 7am til 3pm..
after work i stil nd to met up wt cheng til 10pm lik..
wow~~i reli donnoe hw i cross those days..
at last come to tues n wed where i got rest..
one whole day i stay at home on tues cz too tired to go out anymore..
then i promised to work casual labour on wed to help up as per elbert..
then i went to work morning after tat i get sum time to met ivan's wife, angelin to discuss sumthing..
after tat i went back to hotel n take bath cz later wnet out wt chay ting, voen, iz,and...
after everything get redi.me n chay ting went for dinner n wait for iz to finish work..
then together we go dbl o( a pub),when it close we went to voen's home to stay awhile to wait morning as chay ting is quite drunk..
haha..around 9morning onli i wake up thr n went home..
n i take a nap awhile n now sitiing here typing my blogger..
imagine hw damn full my appointment is..
tonite cheng ask to meet again..
we r going to sing k..=.="

sick

tis time i reli sick..
i reli flu from the morning til i finished work..
then i visit the doctor..
i took mc on thurs..
n i was at home the whole thurs..
early in the morning i wake up ..
gu jie oledi told me tat don let my neice come near me as she alwis easily get sick..
then is ok..b4 tat nite, i bought some food tat i wish to eat during i sick..
grandma ask me alot of questions..
tats reli irritating..
after my neice back, she came to the room to come close me..
where i was playing the pc..
grandma was li to shock n so fast she close me inside the room n ask her stay away from me..
as lik im the alian in this world..
walau don hv to do so even im sick rite??
ok,, then when my nephew back, he actually wanted to use the pc but he din dare to tell me..
anyhw i was finish n plan to return it to him,,
grand ma ask me whether im finish so tat he could use..
the reason so he wont stay late n open the lamp til she cant sleep..
walau, it seem lik im the fault..
dinner time she even cook the fried food..
i was so damn angry her tat day,
im sick n she still cook this kind of food..
i feel lik wanted to move as soon as possible..
after tat sunny called me..
i talk wt him veli long,everything..
then i called ivan as he back to spore tat day..
n wil meet him on fri..
now i stil got abit of flu n cough..
but muc more better..
peter told me tat i nd more rest as i din reli concentrate on work currently..
i wish to sleep..
but this few nites, the maid who same room wt me,
talk to the pho so loud tat i cant sleep..
i got to roll n roll at the bed n reli reli tired onli can sleep..
=,="

he is going back msia

even he din talk wt me recently but i get many news about him from ppl surround..
he went back to msia on last fri if im not mistaken..
cz i work on wed i saw him.
thur i mc then fri i off..
but on fri i went back conrad i heard he is not working n start on leave le..
so might b on thur last day..
anyway, at 1st i feel abit of ngan sia tuck..
but later on i nth le..
tat day i yum cha wt sunny n other chef..
i felt hungry so me n chay ting went to ttc to take dinner..
after tat sunny come join us..
in our conversation, i get to noe tat eddie actually lik a gal but she leave oledi..
i believe i oso noe him as sunny oso might her..
if sunny n eddie oso noe her..then i should b see this gal b4..
anyhw i feel abit susprise tat the gal wasnt me..
hemm..everything in life is unexpected..
day by day gone..
i saw one of the pastry chef, he ask me whether wana go genting or kuantan at msia..
he mention himself, melvin, eddie, me and another gal chef..
i was lik isit alrite a floor staff go wt the kitchen chef??
if it happened last time sure i wil agree
but nowadays i feel lik kitchen n floor sumtime should hv a bit distance due to manager tat we going to face..
different manager..
but the other side wil b, we all r working for a same company hotel..
it doesnt different us from wat department we from..
hemm..all this out from my mind..
anyhw tats onli a talk,he oso hvn plan anything n decide when n location..
so jz leave aside 1st lo..

cant breathe

in this morning i nvr think of i wil see him in the bus..
as he was lik avoiding me recently..
hwever he was in the bus oso this morning wt me..
once i saw him i was lik cant breathe..
i donnoe y n my heart beat so so damn fast..
scare,headache,n many many more..
this feeling onli experince when i told tek seng i lik him at the phn..
now it comes again..=.=
then i was thinking mayb greet him morning or wat when walk down from the bus but..
he was walking so fast in another dirention..
so damn sad man tat time..
feel lik wana cry out but i hold on..
i din take any breakfast then i straightly go to oscar..
i get to noe su mc..
onli me alone tat hvn master things yet..
but i try my best oledi..
i damn slow tat i use 1 n half hours to do the food tags..
i din go for the break..
i stay until 1345 then onli i go for the break..
roland don even notice it..
this morning i reli don hv mood of working le..
i feel lik telling him tat i lik him..
or mayb jz said soli even i don noe whether i did sumthing wrong anot..
hemm but he stil donwan talking wt me..
tats reli hurt man..=.="
after tat..
i got training for the grooming at 330pm
after grooming class i went to 2nd floor..
as sunny ask me thr..
no longer i he oso go back to conrad..
as he work casual labour at pastry..
hemm.
even we meet thr oso din said anything..
is worse then a stranger now..

beatless

im working morning n yesterday was my off..
i went out wt cheng to amk..
we eat n shop abit=.="
(whenever we meet sure shop)
so we come to this shop where they sell bits..
i bought two hp chain..
one is for me n the other i wanted to gv it to eddie..
but sumhw i donnoe hw to present it to him..
n this morning i reli reli hope tat i will see him in the bus..
cz is been a week he work midnite..
but i din see him in the bus..
hwever he work morning so mayb tats mean yesterday was his off oso..
the 1st time i saw him thsi morning i was reli shock..
the 1st time oso i cant feel my heart beat..
reli shock n cant breath..
sound serious rite??
but tats wat reli happened..
anyway tats doesnt make any different..
we stil not talking to each n he's lik refuse to look or talk wt me..
if he keep on lik tat, hw am i going to present him tat hp chain..
i reli wonder y he change to this..

pastry chef

hehe..today is the 1st time i wear chef uniform..
the reason is i went to pastry to do casual labour..
hemm..n i went there to do casual labour cz eddie do casual labour as well..
tot could work wit him..
but he was duty at 4th floor wt joey,the trainee from gp..
me at osacr wt the walfet man..=.="
early in the morning when i go out of the changing room..
those who saw me most of them ask y i wear lik tat..
or they wil ask is u change department??
omg..i don reli noe hw to explain it..
jz tell them to stop asking me or turn the question to another things..
hemm..nth muc to do as a pastry casual labour..
jz top up the bread,muffin,....
if not enuff bread or anythings,jz call the bakery then they wil send to me..
or i wil go down to pick up if im free..
all the while i work wt tat walfet man,im damn scare..
donnoe wat he wil do or mayb suddenly scream or wat..
but luckily he did nth n he's quite nice to me compare wat i saw he did to the other gal..
sumtime he wan to make himself abit proud then the way he said or explain hw important he is..
or he may use a way to praise himself..
but over all stil ok de.
after work, i went to pastry to sent the bread then i went uniform department..
i sit thr n hope i wil saw him..
if im not mistaken he oso finished the time wt me..
at the end i get to see him..talk abit then he went off..
hemm..i think he is now on the way back home..
i onli wil see him tonite..
actually tot of asking him out to take lunch together but words hard to throw out n it reli take me alot of brave to open mouth speak wt him..
recently find it difficult to talk wt him..
he seem lik avoid me or don feel lik wan to ans me..

jb

the 1st time i went jb wt elbert,geoffery n shawn..
we met at woodland bus interchange at 9am..
the elbert ask em not to late but he was the one who late..
anyway..we reach thr n went to jusco instead of city square..
as shawn n me were hungry, we went to pizza hut..
i come across food n tea..
i saw ah bing n ah hui..
they hv been tranfer to jb branch..
they told me the bitch sharon has been fired..
wat a great news..
then after pizza, we went 4 a movie "the mummy"
while there is sum time b4 the film start..
they went to play some games n i went to shop abit..hahaha
i was sitted between shawn n elbert..
after the show, they plan to cont the games to finished up the tokens..
so i went on for my shopping oso..
later on they call me to join for lunch which im so susprised..
they went n eat at kfc..=.="
after tat they went to buy some sport equiment..
then me n elbert go for sme snack^^
at the end we pass by a book stock..
i get all my magazine n comics..hahaha
we went back to city square n elbert n geoferry wana buy psp..
i wnet to buy my stuffs..
then meet up n go for dinner at kim gary..
after dinner we went back lo..

hilton brunch buffet

on sun i went to hilton n meet elbert at thr..
im not sure whether u stil remember this..
i won the cocktail competition n get a price to dine in at hilton for two brunch..
at last we manage to get the same off day to hilton..
but i was back to conrad to help in the morning..
so tat day was abit rush to me..
after work i rush to bus stop n try to get a bus to hilton at orchard road..
sum hw i was at the wrong side n at the end i got to go there by taxi..
haha..elbert was dress up nice..
the 1st time i see he dress so nice de..XD
so we begin the brunch thr wt a glass of champagne..
but the champagne doesnt taste reli great..
then we go for app,some duck liver,....
most of the food there look nice..
presentation great but when come to tasting doesnt match wat it look..
some do dissapoint us..
but thier bar look great n the fruit juice are reli freshly squeerd..
wat i reli lik is the mash potato they make..
reli reli nice n taste great..
most of the foods r home make such as the ice cream
but the quality doesnt lik wat we expected..
the environment was all rite..
the staff doesnt rush even we hv a few empty plates on the table..
wats interesting is they hv a magicion..
he name is alex n look quite charming..
he did some magic for us n gave me a sourvior..
quite interesting evening even the food doesnt reli great..
yea..most important is they hv a chocolate float..
is the best dessert i can get at thr..
other dessert look nice from outside onli..tats all..
after the brunch..elbert join his gf n i when back home le..
^^

chellet

there's a gathering every year in our department..
n this year we organis it at chellet at pasir ris..
the date fall on 30th(wed) ,31st(thurs)n 1st(fri)
the 1st day when i reach thr..ivan n his wife,elbert,geoffery,shaun,li wen,yanto,micheal's gf,lily, ben, iz, joann, sheila, benz were there..
after tat, roland, jeffery, star, yat came to join..
at last ivoen, sean ting n rohan came oso but at 6am..
some r playing around, bbq, gambling, sleeping, drunk, every1 were so funny afetr drunk..

no time

hemm..since come to singapore..i started to b more n more bz..
even sumtime i don hv enuff rest..
don hv time to on9 n check my mail or write blog..
i even get sick last week..=.="
reli got alot to write but soli to said don hv time for it..
hemm..where to start it??
watever tat come across my mind ba..haha..
i hv a heat for sha atletic last sun..
im in 4 times 100m..the 3rd runner..
n we got the 2nd among of the hotel..hehe..
yea..ivan back from msia last week..
i get to meet him on sat as i mc..don tell anyone bout it..
haha..actually i reli sick on tat day..
cz...hemm..on wed nite i went club wt ivoen they all at dbl o..
i reach home 8am on thur n i onli slept 2hours then i went out to meet bang bang, my best fren..
during met up, we took sichuan spicy steamboat..
oh man, is so spicy..then i got stomach pain at nite..=.="
the nxt day i went to training(run) after run i cont work..
i think cz i too tired then it makes me reli sick..
on sat i wake up..my leg muscle so pain n i got a reli sore thoat..
so decide to take the 1st time mc since i work..
i went to toa payoh to search the doctor..take a long time cz cant get the place..lol
then call ivan as i feel so boring n noe tat he went back spore..
yea on the same day..cheng went back to msia..so after met up wt ivan then i find cheng to pass over my document to bring back to mum..
on sun got heat..then after the run i straighly went home..but sure b4 get home i went to buy a pair of shoes for hostess..
as i been change to hostess position on mon onward..
on the 1st day i b hostess..i got a bad news which the one on duty wt me is mc..
but cant blame on her as she got food poison..
luckily noe tat early so i went up early to get the senior to teach me the bacis..
n chay ting stay wt me til 8pm n after tat iz wil take care of me..haha..
god bless tat nite everything went smooth..not muc went wrong..haha..
the next day i was told wat goes wrong n bla bla..
wed i on floor..tats nth special..wat different is tat day i was the captain side station for the 1st time..i donnoe wat to do..or suspose to do..
hemmm..reli reli bz til i din get enuff sleep..my eyes now reli lik panda..=.=""

eddie gan

eddie is a guy tat work at the same department wt me..
he is a cook at cold side..
quite sporty n gentleman from out look..
he oso from pahang n work at genting casino b4 this..
hemm..n this guy seen lik alwis appear in front of me..
tats one day i saw him at the bus..
i was so hapi til i laugh n smile alone..
lik crazy le..=.=
then when go down from bus i pretend din see him..
cz i donnoe hw to react n wat to said when look at him..
i regret i did tat..
i shouldnt do tat..
it seem lik im so arrogant le..
i think fall in love to him..
once again i did this to myself..haiz..
pretty scare the same things wil happened to me lik the past..
i keep on telling myself the aim i come to spore..
hold myself back..but sumtime reli feel alone..
i chat one of the chef which oso from the same department..
he try to recommend sum guys to me..
as he noe i don hv any bf..
at the end he mention eddie's name to me..
he said eddie is single n onli 26 this year..
actually eddie is quite good..
but onli i dislike sumthing is tat he smoke..
the chef told me tat nowadays many ppl smoke due to stress n bla bla..
i do ask him b4 y he smoke n he told me the reasons oso..
hemm..i donnoe wat to do..
i wish to try out..but scare..=.=
the chef oso plan to make up us..
as i do hv abit interest on him..
but arghhhhh~~~~
donnoe ar..
as wind blow ba..see wat happened then onli decide la..

bz bz n tired tired

recently work at restaurant was so bz..
sumtime even not enuff staff to help up..
not even tat..sumtime i got to work those who is no experince or noe not muc..
so at the end i got to do alot of things as time doesnt allow me to teah hw to do it for me..
hemm..even manager noe tat im doing my job well..
but is veli tired working lik tat..
n as now they try to cut cost so they din take any part timer..
if got oso seldom lik last time..
sumtime during work i don feel lik im walking or run..
is lik im flying..there's no time to hv slow walk..
u got think of wat u going in wt n coming out wt..
don waste time..things mz b done fast..brain keep on turning n turning..
summore working in the morning onli me..
ivan n ivoen is working at evening..
then elbert n geofeery work at midnite..
so tired till i got no energy to stay n write my blog at company..
hemm..but i think got one thing good..
as an aunty told me i lost some weight le..
i think is due to the hard work i cross..hahaha..

up n down..

early this week i was kind of hapi cz i got to work wt ivan n elbert at the morning..
even is quite of bz but its stil ok..
tats is bcz of evey1 is workin hard wt u..
n summore eddie was thr le..
but sumhw peter my manager did mention about his disappointment as i din talk to him 1st about the wish to tranfer department..even he din mention my name during the briefing..but after tat day..he seen don wan to talk wt me..is kind of sad to feel it the way..
sumhw ivan explain to me tat he wasnt tat kind of ppl..n even it is..ivan do explain the reasons y he react lik tat.
cz tot of able to tranfer to another department wil gv a chance to myself to learn other thing n another environment..but the end happened sumthing unhapi..
anyway this din last long..
sat n sun elbert n ivan oso not here..cz on leave n off..
onli me n ivoen left..
is so so tiring working wt the philipinoens as they don speed n could said lazy..
no team work..no cooperation..
for a good example, today is a bz day..
nth reli done even its 3.30pm..
mimi was asking to go back earlier cz she wana to go church..
hwever that mariel n jeffery followed her went back..
i tot they oso wan to go church..
if lik tat i can accept n nth to do wt it..then i went to the back area..
mariel din finished her things such as the cutlery,plates,n even the bread she din keep back to the bakery..
so i got to bring the whole things to bakery n carry it back to oscar..
n tats still ok..cz no1 wan to go back home late..
then when i went back n stop at cyber awhile tot of writing some blog as i din do so for so long..
then i realise she n jeffery were there on9..
oh my god..i was so so so so damn angry..
i changed my clothes then i went to find iz the asst manager..
i told here everything..she can go back around 340 lik tat..
i got to stay til 430 to finish all the rubbish she left out..
tats still ok if she reli going to church..
but she leave early jz to on9 n i hv to clear her mess..
iz said she noe wat to do..
thne i went home..
on the way i call ivoen n told her wat i voice out to iz..

27th june 2008

this day was friday..
it was a bz day at work..
cz recently we don hv enuff staff workng due to the arrangement of staff..
after a hard work at the morning..
i hv my training at the evening for the run..
hwever bcz the coach isnt feeling well so its been cancel..
so i went n join elbert n ivan for lunch..
we went to a hk style restaurant near by marina square..
ivan treat us tat day..
after tat ebert went to find his gf..
so me n ivan went for a walk near by fullerton..
we jz walk around n chat chat..
at the end we end up siting at the bridge thr n talk alot of things..
there's one moment feel so sad tat nearly cry out..
ivan reli different then many ppl..
so glad tat i noe him..
he told alot of things..hw to see things differently..
he oso tell his experinces..
he said he admire me sumtime bcz of me character..
we talk til the day turn dark..
then he decided to go back..
after hv a long talk wt him..feel muc better..
even our age so muc different but i reli can talk muc things wt him..
but i wont hv this kind of days muc more as he wil be leaving soon..
he's going back to msia soon..
even he hvn back yet but once this is mention it reli upsad me n sumtime may drop so tears..
he gv me alot of advises, a good senior to me..reli reli wil miss him in the future..

9days leave..

-5th of june (thurs)
1st day back to msia..
reach ipoh early morning..
the 1st thing i saw change in ipoh is the big market..at the below superkinta..
bofore i go spore..its oledi said wil b renovate..but now i back is oledi renovated..
then the driver drove to jln kuala kangsar to go bercham..make a big round to go..=.="
anyway i get out from the bus at bercham around 7 morning..
mum is oledi thr waiting me..we went to bercham' market to eat breakfast then went home..i try to use the pc..but its start to give me sum prob..so i take a nap..suspose in the evening i will visit granny..but cz i was sleeping so mum din wake me up..mummy make the dumpling on tat oso..^^

-6th of june (fri)
the second day at ipoh le..
today i went to granny's home..once i see her i feel she oledi old alot..
onli 3months i din visit her n tats so muc different on her..
i heard from mum tat granny's health getting worse..
granny get a chinese tranditional doctor to cure her..
n the medicine she eat don allow to take meat..
not even the bean kind oso..
n her health do improve but this cz another prob..
cz she din take any meat n bean, summore take too muc vege..
the things doesnt balance..so her heart may stop beat suddenly..
hemm..so worry about her..
i can see she lose quite alot..
i spent whole day wt her tat day..
then i oso go n hv a cut for my hair..
shorter then last time alot..^^
i oso sent my pc to reformat n upgrade..
i oso went to bank le..do alot of things..=.="

-7th of june (sat)
today im going out wt a fren..god brother..
we meet at jusco..lik usual mum fetch me thr..
reach thr..i saw my fren..a long long time din meet de fren..winnie..
last time she is a tb..but now change alot..
we talk awhile then i go n seacrh my godbrother..
we meet up then walk n walk n go to foodcourt..
which is one of the change at ipoh (told by my fren)
we brought some donut n drinks..
sit n chat..(so hard to find sits =.=")
he tell about his work n bla bla bla..
after tat..we went to capcorn..
he play the dance machince..
i oso saw sum other ppl play..
actually it look quite fun but abit tiring..
then at nite dad said go out eat dinner..
after dinner back home stil cont my drama dvd cz no pc at home..
suddenly tai ko call me ask whether i wan to go kl as my cousin he wan to register his wedding..
i din answer him..cz got to ask mum whether she ok anot..

-8th of june (sun)
dad said today morning wan to go eat dim sum de..
but every1 oso sleep until so late so cxl..
hemm..i lik usual, dad invite other ppl come n join for breakfats..
then back home..cont watch my drama dvd tat borrow de..
haha use two days to finish 20episod..
then at noon after mum finish pray pray(the dumpling festival)
i go out wt siow mun to sing k..9quite late go thr..
then we sing n sing..luckily din sorethoat
then back home tat time..
i go buy the ipoh old town coffee..
dad insist to go get the watch for siow mun..
take an hour to choose a watch..
but at tesco extra i saw ah kit..
the one who work at f&t ah kit..
then at home cont watch n watch my dvd drama..n finished it..hehe

-9th of june (mon)
today is the day going to get bak my pc le..^^
after fetch my youngest sis after school..then we go to granny home..
at thr watch tv n chat wt granny lo..
than at three sumthing..fetch my sis to tuition then get the pc n go to bank again..
T.T the pc cost me alot..sum tung..
after tat go home..
i use the pc from the beginning til late at nite..lol

-10th of june (tues)
this morning i got to wake up veli early..
yesterday play pc til late at nite..
i went to market wt granny..=.="
nowadays granny go market cannot go alone cz she may faint in sudden..
so accompany her go market walk n walk..
after sent franny home then we go buy ticket..
i call ivan to make sure the timetable..
he was sleeping tat time..=.="
so soli wake him up..
then after tat went home..
cz too tired i straight away go sleep..
then later at evening i went out again..
this time go to my aunt's home..
hehe..go see see my nephew..his name is nick nick..
then after tat went home..
today eat porridge..hemm
then lik same cont my pc..haha..

-11th of june (wed)
today go out wt kee..^^
going to meet kee at jusco..
i long long time see her le..miss her so muc..
we walk walk around..then go buy things lo..
tat day i buy alot of things..
shoes,spray,comic,clips,sweet,cocoa powder,eye mo,....
too many cant remember..hehe..
then when mum fetch me, we go tesco to fixed my watches..
at nite same...pc pc pc pc pc..

-12th of june (thur)
today i go to parade..hehe..go kai kai..
mum oso fetch me out cz she got to go out oso..
we 1stly go to lawyer office to check sumthing then go to "gold shop"..
dad said im going to 21 le..
so he said gv me a gold key necklace wor..
so mai go buy lo..
after choose le..cz got extra money then i buy another brcelet..
then go buy ipoh local food lo..hehe..
then go parade le..
i go walk walk alone..
then later a fren call come n join me..
actually he wan to ask me join amway..
i oledi is a amway member le..=.="
so mai jz walk n walk n he tell me about everything lo..
after tat he went back..
i stil cont kai kai..i went to find choong yee(cousin)
later go buy my things..
at elianto i spent 73++..
but i brought a perfume..smell reli good de..^^
then mai go buy sumthing nded lo..
suddenly a guy call me..
guess who..is wai keong..
a primary old classmate..
he wana to noe sumthing so we date out at nite yum cha..
when i wan to leave i saw jane jane who same class wit me during secondary school..
back to home eat at my garden tat restaurant..ah peng at thr..
chat n chat then go home n get prepare late go yum cha..
wai keong he late le..but cz he fixe his car la..
he come n fetch me as i don hv transport..
then we find a chinese restaurant n talk..
an hour later he said better send me home..
no good for me out so late..=.="

-13th of june (fri)
today one whole day stay at home..
morning wake eat dumpling..hehe..
wash clothes tat i wan bring back spore then on9 on9..
hehe..then i cook for dinner le..
then i wil go back to spore..
is oledi 6pm..but i still hvn pack my things..=.="
donnoe hw to pack..too many things le..haiz..
tonite take bus 930pm..but 9pm hv to b thr le..
anyway..
i wil miss ipoh de..^^

him

i think i lik a guy from my department..
he work at the same restaurant as i..
hemm..
ivan noe who is the one but elbert hvn..
then tat day i saw him wt a gal..
tat gal i oso noe de..
she is from china n pretty nice..
she jz finished her study n she hv a bf at china now..
i saw them together n eat at republic food..
he even tell me tat he dater the gal oledi as tat time i was sitting thr wt cheng..
i wasnt feel good about it..
i called ivan n told him this..
ivan said i cant blame him or anything ..
cz i din tell him wat i feel to him..
i din blame him cz between us there's nth..
but jz doesnt feel good..
anyway..
me n cheng went to secret recipe n hv a piece of cake..
then we go to cold storage..
afetr tat we hed to sing k..
from 7pm, we sing til 2am sumthing..
we sing 7hours le..
after sing k i feel better..haha..
the mood to go sing k again appear again n again..
hemmm..
anyway i told myself tat wats the main aim i told myself when i wan to come to spore..
i oso tell myself tat i nd to realise wat happening..
mayb is more safe not to enter this circle of love..
which make me more secure n safe..

30th of may

haha..today is my off day..
i went out wt ivoen n ali..
we went for a movie n then we go for a drink..
we go somewhere at raffelas place thr..
at pub name harry's..
i hv a white chardonnay..
then voen n ali hv the erdinger..
i oso try a bite of the erdinger..
it is nice n better then casberlg..
then as usual..i turn red..
then later i come back to normal..
around 730pm we leave tat place..
n we walk to koufu at cityhall..
ali wan to eat something thr..
then after tat we go to oscar n check for the timatable..
we do sit there awhile..after tat i went home around9pm..
reach home almost 10pm le..
i take a bath n finished the dinner tat i promised to come back n take..

going home..

i wil b going home early june..
suspose to b on 3rd nite taking nite bus..
but i hv to attend the team member's day..
so delay a day of my leave..
which make it on 4th nite going home..
i wil get a week leave..
many things in my mind tat i wish to do at ipoh..
i wan go for movie, eat, shop, sing k, gather wt frenz, buy ipoh stuff n bring back to spore..
hemm..many many things..
my fren told ipoh change alot after 3 months..which to go back n look wats the changes..
i wan to go n see my grandma..
i wan go eat dim sum..
hahha..many things to do..
i wan talk wt my sis all day long..
i wan on9 24hours..
i wan listen back to my favourite songs n sing sing sing..
i miss my bed, i miss my frenz, i miss my family,,
i wan go back to school n meet all my teachers..
i miss everything at ipoh..
nowhere i wan to go then ipoh..

confirmation

25th of may is the date i work for conrad for three months le..
which oso mean is the day i get my confirmation oso..
but i onli get to see peter n discuss it on 27th of may..
so during the conversation,
1st of all he ask me hw's everything after 3months in oscar..
so i told him everything..
about the ppl, the work, the spirit..
then he told me bout hw's my presentation during this 3months..
over all..im ok de..
as a waitress i did pretty well n i hv done my duty wt the basic i hv..
he grade me 3 out of 5..
then he said im hunger to learn..tats wat he noticed..
wat make him impress is the teamwork i hv n the cheerful n positive mind part of me..
this bring in alot of motivation to every1..
he hope i can keep it..
when he said im cheerful..i ask whether tats mean im tralkative le..
hahaha..he told me it wasnt..btw is jz a jk..
n alot of things he told me..cant reli remember..
then im sure to b confirm..
he oso told me tat i wil b arrange to buddy training soon..
n he share wit me wit the plans n training..
hemm..feel happy wit it..
^^

simply sweet

this is the cocktail tat i presented during the competition i mention last blog..
is a cocktail tat make out last min by elbert, my senior..
n i nd to memories the ingrediate,step and everything..
at the end i successfully make it to the end without any mistake..
this competition was held on last sat..
the result was annouced on tues..
hwever the news spilt around who is the winner of the competition b4 tat..
i was congratulated by ronald 1st without telling me any reasons..
then by elbert b4 i went to sleep on mon night..
the nxt morning on tues,peter came to work but he hasnt reli heal..
i told him tat i din use his recipe n i do explain the reasons..
i was mention tat i won the cocktail competition..
if im not mistaken wil get the brunch at hilton..
but til now stil hvn received any voucrh yet..
gen the captain said it might gv on the team member's day..
so jz wait lo..
oledi plan wil go wt elbert..

recently

hemmm...reli reli reli reli bz..
mostly everyday i got sumthing to do..
lik on tues i off..
then on wed i work morning..
then thurs i got wine training after work til 5.30pm..
then after 530pm,my collegues they ask my to join them go sing k..
so i join them n sing til one sumthing back home..
reach home around 2am..
then i sleep 2 n a half hours..
go to work..which i force myself wake up..
then work n work n work til 3pm..
go yum cha as i got run trainning at 545pm..
then until 545pm onli i get the info tat the run trainning is cancel due to no1 going..
then i cont yum cha til 7pm lik tat..
back home..get redi for the nxt morning..then sleep..
n reach today..sat..i work morning again..
then in the middle got break..
but my break was use for the cocktail..
then straight end cocktail competition go back to oscar cont work..
work til 6 lik tat then take dinner n on9 awhile til now..
onli can rest a bit le..
tomolo again morning..=.="

cocktail..

today..16th of may is the 1st time i make n pratice doing cocktail..
as b4 this peter mention b4 tat we r having a cocktail competition..
n he has created sumthing but he donwan use his own name..
so he register my name le..
as he said he wil gv me the recipe n anything info bout it..
hwever he injured his leg de during the football competition..
so in this few days i cant get to meet him..
=.="
i as so worry wat could happened then yesterday i told iz bout it..
then this morning i stil wonder could happened wit nth i can do n no idea..
so i ask for help from elbert, my senior..
he jz simply make a cocktail n ask me to try..
i can said i lik tat more then the spore sling..
then he teach watever tat i donnoe..
whole morning try to remember everything..
but peter do pass a paper where inside got so cocktail..
i think he make tat..but i don hv the chance to make it..
as i reli donnoe hw to explain to the judge..
so i use the cocktail tat elbert teach me..
woh..i was so lucky tat i manage to finished it..
n mr hai poh said is quite nice..
i get so many help from it..hidayat,sean,...
but sure the most is elbert teng..
elbert name the cocktail as simply sweet which can oso said as double "s"
is suitable for ladies as is kind of sweet..
mr hai poh do said is nice too..^^

seong thai..

i cant believe in this century there is stil blind date..
the kitchen ppl now introduce a guy to me..
which as they said he is a good nice guy..=.="
btw i noe tat guy lik la from early b4 they told me..
actually beside him there's a few who told me b4 they interested oso..
anyway..they r lik pushing me n him together..
n tats reli feel shy about it..=.="
i cant reli imagine if i reli wil him lo..
hemmmmmmmm......
now the whole kitchen noe bout he n me...
wat a embaress..

leave plan..

im planning to go back msia for holiday..
this is after my confirmation..
as every1 wil b at ipoh around early june..
i plan go back tat time..
mean while tat time oso hving school holiday..
so i can go out wt my sis to go sing k together..
summore my two gor oso at ipoh tat time..
wai fun wil back to ipoh from 24th of may to 7th of june..
then thean seng will b at ipoh hving training..
kein wei may back during weekend form kl from training..
mayb if im lucky enough wil oso see a old fren back form ireland..wai keong..
hahaha..i think this is the most suitable time to back as every1 is thr..
but i onli wil b at ipoh for a week onli..
cz the longer leave i could take is a week..
then now i nd to fixed a date to go back to gv it to my asst manager to approve..
for the approve i nd to wait around a week..
then onli i can confirm whether im back tat time tat date..
hahaha..if i back sure i wil go eat dim sum n many many ipoh foods de..
cant find anything to fight wt ipoh foods here..

i break my shoes record..

in my whole life since i was born..
this is the 1st time i buy tat expensive of shoes for myself..
even my parent i think they din bought tat b4 for me..
i bought a nike shoes..
guess wats the price..
is $119..in spore dollar..
in msia ringgit wil b around 260-270+++
last time the most expensive wil b my work shoes which is from bata de..
cz me rm50..
then then most expensive for kai kai shoes is from nose..
tat time i buy was doing promotion n after deduct was around rm35++
n tat time i wasnt working..tats the pocket money i save out..
now i buy a hundred over shoes..reli 1st time buy so expensive thing to myself..
hemm..i noe for sum other ppl..this isnt muc to buy a shoes..
but i reli wont spend tat muc one sumthing...
n as long as is good enough to wear n use..
tat wil b..i wont go for the expensive one..
the money i earn not tat easy so i wont spend tat muc..
hemm..i wil take this sport shoes i bought as a present for myself as i work hard for so long..
n oso as an encouragement for me to exercise..hahaha

trainning...

i enter a running competition tat organize by my company..
every year they hv this event..
now is training, the real one wil b on august or sept..
on my 1st day of training which is on 9th of may..
tat day after work, i prepare n then i went to coach bay..
b4 tat i went to meet ivan..after tat i was so hungry i went to canteen n take some fruits..
then i went up to koufu n buy a mineral water..
then i went to the bus..
roland said he wil go wt me..
but i cant see him thr..so i sat alone in the bus..
no longer i saw he came out wt carrying 100plus n some other ppl form behind with water..
then he sat behind me..
i tot he fong fei kei..hehe..
then mimi's name was mention so i called mimi see whether she join us..
but cant get her..
after reach to the stadium..
i went down n we nd to go across the big drain n a veli dangerous ground b4 the drain..
luckily sum1 help me go across it..
then when the training start..
cz i bring along a small bag to keep my hp n sumthings else..
i ask roland to keep for me..
then we start to train wit some warm up..
then train us the basic step..
after tat the trainer ask us to pratice it..
the second time i run, i fall down le..=.="
i hurt my right leg..but not veli serious..
some wound at the knee, leg n at the ankle..
then i felt so paiseh paiseh le..=.="
roland saw it n he come n see whethere is serious to me anot..
he ask me to wash the wound then see hw..
after i washed it..it look abit red red de..
he hand me a can of 100plus..
then i jz sit thr lo..
haha..tat day the training i onli run one n a half time onli..
wat the worst is roland told this the nxt morning during briefing..=.="
so so so paiseh..
but he do said i run quite fast la..

make me cry

cont from the last post..
the barman tat going to leave the restaurant,
he saw i was so so sad..
he ask me wat happened to me..
why im so sad..
anythings he could do for me..
n the way he tell me was li..
if any1 bully me..
he n ivan wil stand up n stand in front me n protect me..
so i was lik so gam tung..
is lik sum1 coming to protect n care me..
tat time i was going in to the kitchen to make the coffee for the guests..
i told him to stop so i would cry..
but tat man ..
he din stop n cont say le..
n at last i drop a few tears..
a kitchen man saw i cry le..
omg...
however i feel better after tat..
hemm..
1st time i work i cry at work place le..

sad sad sad

reli sad in this few days..disappointed..
1st of all..
i got a captain called ivan ng,
he is going to leave the hotel in june lik tat..
he is a veli good captain n im more close to him then my buddy..
he is going back msia..
he is lik a big kor kor to me..teach me alot n remind wat should do n not..
after tat, sum incident happened at my restaurant make me so disappointed..
the stroy is lik tat..
we hv to gv a guest a comment card..
n if we gv a comment card..
sure we wan a good comment to us n not the bad..
to get a good one we nd to gv good service n go extra mile..
nd to gv a lot effort on doing it..
n if the guest wan write our name on it anot is all depend on them..
whether we gv a good service or not..
n this happened to me..i got two comment card tat one of it got my name n the other don hv..
so i keep it near to the station i work wt two check wt it..
i finished work at 10pm..
then i went to basement onli realise i hvn pass the comment cards n the checks to the cashier..
so i went back to the restaurant..
when i back to the station the cards n the check were not thr..
so i went to the cashier ask whether he received it anot..
he said he got the check..
so i check the box where we put the comment cards..
i found one of the card onli which is the one without my name..
so i went back to the station to check mayb they left one when they pass to the cashier..
i check everyplace tat possible but stil cant get the card..
then i ask the asst manager whether she received it..
she din..so in half an hour the cards gone..
this doesnt happened 1st time but not on me..
then i reli reli disappointed with wat ppl in the restaurant did..
hemm..
then the next day i was so so so so so moody..
i cant smile or anythings..
then at the end i find my manager n told him the incident..
this make unmotivated to do any comment cards or even more service..
n actually this doesnt happened the 1st time..
i feel sumthing should b done wt it..
at nite the manager ik so care me ask whether is there any1 bully me tat day..
hemm tat doesnt cure me alot..
reli disappoint with the ppl..
if they use the correct way to do it..
which the good competition..
i can get my name on the cards so do them..
is the matter whether u wan to do or not...
tats the rite way n not the other one..
after tat one more things happened was..
another fren is going to leave the restaurant oso..
he is a fren to ivanthe captain..
he oso work thr as a barman..
reli reli sad..every1 is leaving..

in this few weeks

on 30th april,i went to jb wt cheng on tat day..
woh..i bought so many things tat day..
i bought 7shirts 1work shoes then many many things until i forget oledi le..
hemm..
after i back i recieved a call from a ex-chef from oscar..
then i in the 1st few days..i don feel lik wan to work..
i hv to wake up early in the morning..
n is been long time i din work morning le..
then next day of 1st of may..
i n cheng went to tao payoh to eat dim sum..
hemm quite ok ba..
but i still miss the siu mai..
hahaha..
then on 3rd of may..
the biggest prob out le..
i work at 7am to 3pm..
n i wake up on tat day at 7am..
=.=' im late..
wat can i do..called back tell them im late..
i received at work at 9am..
judion so angry le..
cz tat day was so bz bz..n tat day the captain n the other waiter mc..so left me n him..n im late..=.="
he a person hv to do everything in this 2hours..
but later on he come back to normal ..
hem...

ben

today after wrok three hours..
i went to mcd wt judion, su, ivoen, ivan n ronald..
they told me wat happened to ben..
i reli don believe wat he did..
anyway, feel abit of disappointment of wat he do..
for so hard get to this position now..
the asst manager..
not even a month in this post..
this happened to him..
he get promoted at 1st of april..
now hvn end of april le..
this incident get to noe on wed which is my off day..
no wonder i din see him today le..
hope everything wil b fine to him..

expo n orientation..

on wed which is my off day..
i went to expo where a place tat hv a huge hall..
at there got a event called food n hotel fair..
sumthing sound lik tat which happened once in two years..
i go thr wt chay ting..hwever not reli enjoy going wt her..
she seem not interested on everything..
i reach thr around 1130am then around 3sumthing i n chay ting back..
but i return back thr after tat..
cz stil got many things i wana noe thr..
thr hv chocolate,sugar,milk,juices,wine,container,n many many more..
reli interesting thr..
got chef from different hotel n country tat present n competition..
then around 5sumthing almost 6pm i leave thr..
then i went to met cheng at boon keng's mcd..
we talk bout many things lik her's bf, work, on wed plan..
then i reli tired tat day..
cz i carry many papers tat i get from expo..
reach home around 10pm le..


the nxt day was my 4th day of orientation..
no1 tell me tat we can wear casual n smart clothes on tat day..
at the end me n chay ting from oscar wear uniform..
btw i tot i was late on tat day cz usually office hour wil b 9 to 5
the bus reach suntec oledi 9am le..
then when i get to work they told me it start at 930am..
omg..i was so rush walk so fast to get work thr..
then, we talk n sit,discuss,hi tea..break n watever la..
then the whole day lik le..
after the orientation..
i went to oscar,the restaurant i work..
i go thr return the expo pass to iz n pei see..
when i wan return the pass to pei see.
i came across the bar n hidayat ask me taste the cocktail he make..
thr were there kind of it..
then i try le..return the pass le..
when i wan go back, i make a stop at cyber thr..
i met sunny thr..then we talk bout the expo things lo..
n here i wan to congratulation him tat he win the competition at expo..
after tat i went home..lik usually wat i do..
then sleep early le..

tired..

recently donnoe y..
feel so tired..
my shoulder, my back n my neck nd a veli good massagge..
almost 9weeks been here le..
today work as casual labour from 12 to 3pm..
cz the lunch time is so bz..
then cont back at 5pm to 1am as my normal stiff..
tomolo i plan to go to the spore expo..
where thr hv many different country they show the product n wines..
oso do hv some competition from chef..
then cont back this week wit whole week 5pm to 1am..
but onli different is on thur i wil hv my orietation again ..
so i come to work at 9am to 5pm..
sun hv oledi plan go meet cheng le..
hem..is lik wat tek seng told last time..
the life here is all about work..
nth muc to do..but nvm..
this wont last long..
after i get my confirmation letter..
i wil take leave go back ipoh for some rest..
then onli back for the battle of my life for futher study..
gambateh oooooo!!!!!

why not him?? is there any1 better then him??

recently his shadow come back to my life..
tats one day i read a book..
it remind me of him..
the way he treat me n wat reli i could feel..
but the conclusion they gv me is tat he try to fool around..
im lik a backstage tat whenever he nd sum1..
tats me there for him..
when he alone n he wana prove tat he is not..
there he come to me..
everything explained lik tat..
but i don reli believe he is tat kind of human..
could any1 tell me wat happened le?
or the ans has from the begining is thr, jz tat i din accept it??
i tot i reli let things go..
me n him can b fren, a good fren..
but wil it reli happen??
he is lik a ideal mr right to me..
mr right tat stand in front of me but nth happened between us..
sumtime kind of miss those days wt him..
the days we studied, played, worked n everything wt him..
he got everything i wan..
the knowledge he has..
the humour he has..
the joke he has..
the care he has..
the charm he has..
the spirit he has..
the maturity he has..
the gentleman he has..
the hardwork he has..
the single everything he has..
hemm..
do u noe who is this mr right??
hahaha..sum1 tat change me alot..
sum1 teach me alot of things..
sum1 tat care me alot..
sum1 tat und me wat i wan without i nd to say out..
sum1 who did many 1st time wt me..(don think the*%$#@%)
is thr any1 i could find better then him??
where n when??
or wil i???
mayb yea tats sum1 could replace him(alex fong lik sun)
for those who noe him, u wil noe wat i mean..
but is there any hope between us??
isit silly to wait??

any1 lik him or lik this song???
try listen this song..is so sweet..
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/PFapnwdzJYw/

the 8th weeks in conrad

this the 8th weeks i hv been work at conrad which at oscar department..
everything stil goes great even sumtime i find sumthing not as i expect n doesnt go as wat i hope so..
sumtime got a little things to deal wt senior..
sumtime feel abit tired of working..
sumtime expectation doesnt reach there..
sumtime got a little trouble communication wt other ppl..
sumtime got disagreement wt sum1..
but all this is jz a small little deal..
everything still goes great after tat day..
there's sum organisation..
the senior asst manager hope i take part of it..
as a runner or watever tat i interested..
i hv think of it but scare i din manage to do well everything..
stil hvn confirm whether to join in or not..
but as my asst manager said..
gv it a try n make it as a pratice n hv fun wt it..
hemm..should i join in??
then bout the chef from kitchen..
this few nite he work midnite n it come across tat i wil meet him when he come to work..
tat reli bother me..
i start feel uncomfortable wt him..
even start feel don wan to see him..
i could feel he is gving me sum prob tat i don wish..
even i donnoe wats the prob is..
hemm..

14th of april

walau..is a =.=" day i hv..
things tat happened reli make me feel blur blur de..
i oso don reli noe wat happened to me..
hemm..hw should i begin this..
i went to jb wt a guy..he is chef at our restaurant..
he is 25 this year n his position is cook1 at kitchen..
he ask me out n go jb..so i agree..
cz i tot of be fren is ok de..
then..he treat me lik his gf..=.="
n i lik nth de..feel nth de..
tats the worst..
he hold my hand, put his hand over my shoulder n sleep at his shoulder(cz too tired)
i noe i shouldnt let this happened..
but i was so blur n donnoe hw to react n let it go..
so so so stupid la me..
then at the end he ask me whether can b wit him..
i donnoe hw to say it..
i don feel secure wt him..
summore he is a scorpion so i noe wat he is thinking..
tats make me more scare..
summore he lik to flirt flirt..tats make more not secure wt him..
then he stil ask me wats the qualification to my bf n bla bla bla..
i told him the things n hw i think of it..
hwever i can feel the prob is his eng is not tat good n bring to communication prob..
the day going out wt him doesnt make hapi or sad..jz feel nth n normal..
i told him tat i hope we can b fren back..
cz i think everything start too fast..
tats wat i learned nvr start sumthing to fast..u wil regret n it may end up fast too..
he said is impossible to do so as wat we did was lik a couple le..
but i reli don wish too n he said is all depend to me..
hemm..wat should i do??

the 3rd day of midnite

on the way i went to work...
i called thean seng to wish him hapi bday as he oso same bday as gabriel..
then reach here change le n on9 awhile..
after tat tonite jz onli me n judion..
sheila, the another trainee off le..
even least a person..
we still managed to finished...chay ting told tat actually not ms1 who lik him..but is he lik ms1 le..
but i don reli care it..
watever he wan then choose lo..
everything as he wish..
nxt mon i off n i wil work 5pm to 1 am..
veli tired..feel reli sleepy..

1st of midnite stiff..

wat a horrible 1st mid nite stiff i hv..
1st i when thr wt full full stomach cz go eat buffet wt ivan, jieun , elbert n his gf..
we eat at edward place ( orchard hotel)
then work thr..judion not here..
clean the coffee's machince no brush..
the brush missing..
then veli free donnoe wat to do..
i make the best coffee myself..
actually is espresso,,
ichelle stay to back up us..
the 1st nite i work oledi got 6pax le..
then whole nite blur blur de..
also donnoe wat can do..
do abit this n tat lo..
then chat wt chef abit..
later on then the time pass ok de..
saw him this morning..ivan said i look so mess..
cz my hair la..
aikss..
hemm..then when wan back tat time...
judion onli appear le..
=.="
after tat he went back lo..
so tonite will see him le..
after work din back home straightly but go on9 awhile..
chat wt seng gor n wai keong..
then later i feel not well so back home le..
so back home , i straightly go sleep n til now..

7th n 8th of april

on 7th which is judion's bday..
n its oso my off day to..
suspose going out wt chay ting n elbert but cz onli me n elbert is going to sing k..
so we cancel it le..
then i went out wt yee ko which is my cousin..
we talk bout wat recently happened n h's everything..
hahaha.he said alot man..but i und y this happened..
then later on we went n eat mcd..
after tat he wana buy sumthing for her gf..
so we went in a jewelry shop n choose sumthing lo..
he bought a ring for himself n a leg bralet for her..
n i bought a necklace for 40 sumthing..
1st time buy sumthing so expensive to myself de at spore..
then later on he got to go back accompany his gf le..
so i cont shop alone or can said walk alone
then i went in each shop n see n see...
i do buy sumthing if i feel is useful..
then at nite go back n eat dinner..
until this morning nth special happened..
jz tat i nd to find a time n go apply a member card from a libary..
so tat i can borrow some books..

5th n 6th of april..

yesterday n today i oso the runner again..
then..early yesterday, wat happened was ben gv me his hand to kiss to show tat i got use lipstick..=.=" instead of kiss, i try to bite him..hehehe..
then on floor but later on after lunch b runner..
then veli free n bored so i clean the runner side n everything especially the coffee machince..
hehehe..ben oso helped me to clean up..
nth muc special happened..after ben went back at 230pm..
cz he wil hv exam paper on mon..
so he got back n ask me remind ms1 bout the napkin..but i forgotten le..=X
then i b casual labour at nite from 6 to 10..
in the middle i went take korean food wt chay ting..
then i join ivan wt another collegue at level2..
ivan bring along his wife which look reli pretty..
then in the conversation, ivoen said tat actually ben is not a good person..
from the way he look n treat gals..
hahaha..she is telling hw ben is..
anyway.she mayb rite..
hwever everything jz make it natural..
then back work nite..
i work at terrance..the 1st time i swt working thr..
then around 930pm, iz said i can go back cz not muc to do..
so i back at 930pm n stay at hotel awhile n take bath..
roland ask me why i look abit lik "sa sa" n no energy..
so i told him im lik tat de lo..
he said gals mz b gentle de..
but in my opinion if gals gentle wil get bully de..
so mz b abit strong strong de..
n today ben off..whole day reli bored..
tomolo off..plan go sing k wt chay ting n elbert..
but all stil in th eplan..hvn confirm..
n later on tues i wil start my another life..
bcz i wil changed stiff now to midnight..

4th of april

this morning i bcome runner again..
n nvr the less at lunch me oso the runner..
today din talk muc wt ben..n ms1 oso off today...
but at lunch suddenly veli bz..
then he come in n help up..
the 3rd day i saw he wear the same tie..
btw in the morning we don hv briefing n change it to after work..
so during briefing my name was mention bout the guest comment..
i get two star star..
roland congratulation me at the kicthen b4 i wnet out..
then i reach the star from ben...
hehhe..
then when roland come n join us for the briefing..
he..shake my hand to congratulation me again..
hahha..think wat in my brain cross by..
u guess ba..
then nth muc happened..
i on9 n on9 again at company's cyber..
wait for partick to let me noe when he finished work so we go take dinner together..
=.="
start feel abit boring le..
judion told me tat he wont b around from tomolo til nxt tues..
mean wed onli i wil see him..
hemm mean the present onli reach him on wed..
judion oso emntion me in front his wife..
said i veli cute lik a kid..
=.=" wat la him..
tomolo see him then sun cant see..
=.="

3rd of april

today is my off day..
whole day stay at home..din go anywhere..
yesterday is cheng's bday..
she spend the time wt her bf..
early in the morning is go work yesterday..
i was a bit rush cz late wake up..
then reach there..lik normal..
changed my uniform n went to canteen for abit of breakfast..
i saw ben thr..he was hving breakfast wt pei see,su n kartini..
then he saw me looking for a place to sit..
he gave his sit to me..
then he said the chair is hot cz he sat ong time..
then i asked can he change for me??
haha..he asked do he nd to feed m for brakfast..
i tell him i don mind tat..
then after breakfast i went up for briefing..
my buddy, judion mc le..
morning n lunch i oso b the runner..
hving fun oso b runner..
when breakfast almost end, david tao come for breakfast..
haha..chay ting tell bout tat..
then i decided to get his autograft tat day..
hehe..so i went to ask peter whether can i do so..but cant find him..i onli saw ben..
=.=' so scare ask him ..so i ask su..
su said is ok de..but make sure i ask nicely la..
then i went back to kitchen..
ask chay ting to let me noe when he almost finished his breakfast..
so i went n get his autograft n after finished..
i realised tat ben look at me..=.='
omg..damn damn scare me lik hell man..
then go back to kitchen..
ben ask me whether im veli free..
then walau..my heart lik jump out n drop at the floor man..
actually i time i almost everything de..
then went for break..eat wt chay ting n merial..
then at lunch melinda suddenly at kitchen..
i think she is helping the floor ba..
then she make the coffee n everything la..
but look at her i reli feel funny de..
haha..cant descride muc..
btw melinda is our company f&b director..
then after work..there is a team's member day..
we went thr n so do ben..
then after the end n chay ting take another lift to go to uniform department..
ms.1 followed us..n ask y we take different way.
but tat time i was talking wt chay ting so we din reply her..
walau..my feeling tat time so good..haha..
i noe is a bit of childish..but i reli don feel good wt her..
then me n chay ting go shop..
cz next mon is judion's bday..
i bought him a lighter..as the info..
he smoke de..
in this few days..me n chay ting say alot about ms.1..
n i found not onli me doesnt hv good feel to her but oso some other ppl..
watever, im stil im..whether is her or me..
he hv the right to choose..
but i do feel the big gap between us..
whether is couple or single..
i wil accept wat god gvn to me...
i date patrick tomolo after work..
this morning wake up do nth then wape the present for judion then on9 til now..
hemm..feel kind of boring..

me

hemm...recenty donnoe why..
the feeling doesnt seem lik last time..
i tot i lik ben..
as i mention him muc at my blog..
but found i don reli do so..
but if say i don..
actually is not reli don..
haiz..
i oso confuse bout it..
summore he now is junoir am..im jz a waiteress..
summore he said b4 tat i lik a child to him..
hemmm..anyway i think i stil ok living alone witout couple couple..
stil remember last time during schooling..
reli wish to couple wt sum1.cz my frenz around alwis heard they hv sum1 tackle them..
hahaha..n it reli come..things doesnt seem lik wat u imagine..
onli a year..after experince all tat..
it reli bring my mind out from dreaming another relation..
sumtime this comes to me..
sum1 asking me whether im couple or not..
i told them im ok now..
is ok staying as single..
the reaction they gv is tat im not normal..
in their mind r lik wat a gal she is..
is not normal to hv a mind of thinking to b single..
but i think is ok de..
if being single is abnormal then who ever is single is abnormal ma??
hemm..can u gv me sum idea..
btw..today i saw david tao at the place i work..
he reli a tall man..n he look great actually..
hahaha..cant imaigine i saw him thr..
ivan told me tat he alwis go thr de..
he alwis see him at conrad de..

the 1st day of the 6weeks

tomolo wil b 1st of april n ben wil b the junior asst manager..
today is mon n yesterday i hv a off day..
yesterday went out wt cheng..
she work at 3pm then we met around 1230noon..
so we went for lunch n hv a bit of walk walk..
we ate sushi n chat bout wat happened recently..
then she went to work n i went hv a lil bit more walk..
i bought a sweater tat onli cost 10 dollar..
i oso bought two pants n a perfume from the body shop..
then back home around 4sumthing..
n today morning go work..
wat a day it is..
i forgotten my locker key..
so i nd to go security there n wait when they r free n go wt me to locker to change..
then after i change onli i realise i din bring my socking le..
wat a day it is..
then i borrow from sum1 else lo..
then go work..
b the runner then after lucnh oso b the runner..
so boring til i did the lunch work at the morning time..
n the same to lunch time..veli boring..
nth muc to do..
then after work ..at 1st date my cousin oledi but..
he suddenly tell me tat he is bz, got sumthing to do..
so he cant meet me today..
edward the am oledi resign..
he left a letter descride every1..
i din thought b4 tat he wil say bout me oso..
cz we noe each not long ago.
he said me n chay ting, one of the gal tat work at my department..
he say me n chay ting is lik the twins..he said is a ost tat he miss a chance to work wt the twins..
=.="
this oso he said out..wat la him..
n actually is su, the hostness's bday..
today we celebrate wt her..
n is specially prepare by her best fren, kak tini..
today oso come a new guy n is buddy wt ivan oso..
he is hving the master now..walau..but he stil hv the training at restaurant le..hahah..anyway..thsi few days i feel ok de..nth muc happened le..
n i wil try update everything tat hgappened to me to all my frenz..
take care oo u all..

a month in sg

hv been a month i hv been in sg le..
in the 3rd n 4th week..
learn alot n could feel abit of stress now..
cz things cant get into my brain..
hwever stil feel ok wt it..
today is mon..sumthing happened this few days..
on fri, tek seng sent me a msg..
telling me, he is coming to sg for vacation..
he wil take fri nite bus to sg..
mean he reach here at morning..
then we promise meet at nite for dinner..
on fri which is a good friday..
tat nite i cant sleep well..
the 1st time in sg i cant sleep well..
i wake up in the middle of the nite..
then the nxt morning i work 7am to 1130am then cont at 3pm to 6pm..
if i finished at 3pm isnt it nice..
i stil can hv a walk wt him..
then i plan on fri nite what to bring along to work so afetr work i can bath n prepare at thr..
then around 730 lik onli i meet him..
he was wearing a black t shirt n long jean wt a white cap..
then we went for dinner..he told me his sis wil join us..
later on, one of his fren at secondary oso wil join us..
his fren bring along his gf oso..
after the dinner, we went to sing k..
at place at ang mo kio..
i hv sang a few songs..he said i do pronoun the word rite n cant imagine i reli noe hw to sing it..
haha..reli hving fun on tat nite..
then we back around 1230am..
b4 tat i pho gu jie oledi tat i wil b late back home tat day..
then i reach home at 1am..i sms him..
cz they get a cab for me 1st then onli they go..
straight after sms him, i slept..
then the nxt morning he wil go to bugis wt his sis n his bro..
hwever i hv to work so cant join him..
btw, he hurt his neck at castam cz many ppl on tta time..
he use half an hour at castam le..
at nite he sms me tat he din noe tat i sms him last nite..
cz tat pho no is his bro de..
then he wil back at 945pm on sun..
n in this morning..
he sent me a msg when he reach home le..
so sweet of him..
i kind of miss him now..
hope he is everything all rite..

the 2nd week

after th 2nd week,everything seem stil ok..
today i went to do my medical check up..
even is my off day..but got to wake up early oso..
then i went hv a walk to buy sumthing for my cousin sis..her bday is on this sun..
for the info she is onli 4 yrs old onli..
then i went t maybank to check my account wats wrong wt it..
nth reli special to me today..
jz tat..abit pain to both of my hands cz get injection.
hemm..i went back to mylocker today mean the place i work..
cz the place i take my blood text is jz near it..
tomolo going to work early morning..
yea,,wat happen this week was..
i hv my ori on mon n wed..
tues is my floor pratice..
in the ori i meet alot of ppl..
but i found i start to jealous..donnoe y..
every1 is saying ben tat no good tat no good..
but i feel ben is lik wat they said?
omg ben topic come again..
but feel wan to say it out..
im not surfe but i feel lik i lik ben le..
i tell myself tat don think so muc n do wat i aim when i wana come sg tat time..
wat i promise to myself..
but ooo..i notice is quite abit difficult for me..
lik wat happen yesterday..
me, judion n ben oso in the same section..
but ben late le..
he start at 8am n i at 7am..
when he come..i kind of jealous him n ivoen..
n at the end of the day when i wan to leave the restaurant..
he told me tat i same lik judion oso,,
black face today..he din noe it was cz him..
hwever i can feel tat ivoen oso don reli lik him..
hemm..summore one more ppl to mention..
ivan the captain oso..
he reli a nice man..whenever u ask or help he wil try his best to help u as he could..tomolo will see ben but sun wont..
hemm..