do i noe where am i going to?

im donnoe wat im doing whether is rite or wrong..
im not sure i reli wan..
cant concentrate on wat im doing..
start to hate myself..
im not sure wat im doing n i wan is reli truth
feel tat im so false sumtime..
i totally confuse..
i can be a nice gal in this moment
but the nxt second might not..
might do sumthing tat dissappointed ppl..
it seem so confusion wat im telling now..
in my work place..
i keep on doing sumthing wrong..
things doesnt goes well..
i donnoe why..
is not lik wat im doing..is not usual me..
i keep on forgeting everything..
is not me..
im the most good memory among my family..
but not now..wat happened to me..
im dropping..
im making everyone dissapointed..
im doing well..
ppl use to trust on wat i did..
confident on wat i did..
but i did now is totally the other of it..
in my personal life..
everything is so mess..
joe appear back to my life..
i tot is oledi over..
but i keep on asking myself whether i love eddie or joe..
y do i feel sad when i saw his pic wt a gal..
y i stil miss him so muc..
y i start cry after the nite i met him back..
then met eddie at work
the way we look n react is so depress inside..
then i keep on done something tat wrong
spoiltly my imagine..
tired of being good n nice gal anymore
cz of joe n eddie, i keep on thinking
even at work..
i donnoe wat im doing..
seem so stupid n idiot in my whole life..