great catch up

its been 2 months since the last catch up with both of them..
who i mean??
no one other then Mr Teng and Mr Stanley..
suddenly come out of my brain aft the training today..
since there's not activities and cant arrange any tonite..
i send a msg to tek seng to invite for a dinner..
of cz nvr forget mr stanley whenever we out for dinner..
we seem nvr bored of amk's food..
i manage to stop by home and release my burden of heavy bag with papers inside..
however mr teng make me wait for him as he got a late meeting..
while wait for their arrive..i suggested to catch a movie..
since the previous JOHNNY ENGLISH doesnt reli satisfied me..
n tek seng asked to but this movie called "FRIGHT NIGHT"
from the poster it seem lik some fighting movie..
eventually we went to the same place and had our dinner together..
n tek seng start to be sentimental of able to gather having a hapi dinner..
as usual, mr stanley went n settle the bill..
during the dinner, i could feel some of family and protection from this cute handsome gor gor tat i newly got even we hv known each sometime.
aft the dinner, we went to catch the show..
the show was about a Dracula man trying to hunt this guy Charles as he knew his secret..
Charles with his mother and gf, Amy were escaping n the end they survive lik normal movie..
the story line isnt tat important..
as i rmb this is the 1st time i had horror movie wt tek seng n Stanley..
the important is the moment of watching it wt them..
its so funny wats tek seng and Stanley respond during the show..
life is sad most of the time..but once awhile catching up wt this warm n great frens are jz cant measure to precious more the that.

waiting for the nxt meet in the mid of oct 21st dinner wit tek seng's parent and Stanley at 333 ^^

doesnt derserve the honour..

its his bday today..20th August..
everything was ok..nth happened..
im in peace..
until she came and told me justin is inviting to hv a drink at the bar later aft work..
i told her im not going as i rlei hv an appointment earlier..
i din noe will come to mandarin..
aft all is his off day..
i refuse to join the celebration.
however i took a cake from the cake shop for him..
even thru isnt my hand made..
but its something lil thing i could do..
i wish i could walk to him, gv him a hug and wish him "hapi bday"
but all this seem so hard..

the past tense of us

its been 4 months ago
and recently i got the feel again.
sad to say i dont think he hv changed his mind
instead i could sense he falling to another person..
mayb he could find more comfort frm her..
i should b hapi and bless him..
i wish i could but the person i suspect he fall to, its a person i couldnt accept..
which this person is so close to me..
everything is not confirm..
its all by my observe and 6th sense again

today i was cutting lemon again..
he was thr, he came over, doing his preparation..
recall back the past of us..
veli long time ago, we use to tease each other everyday..
especially we were alone at kitchen and office..
but this do seem to happen again..
suddenly tis feeling of teasing each lik each come out of my brain
pretty miss that moment..
as it wont happen anymore again
we were quiet silent..
its weird, i wonder wat to start out conversation..
he spoke something!!
he ask why this month 18th oledi, i din chase aft him for menu..
1, i almost forgotten..
2, i don feel lik looking him for tat anymore..
3, if he did, sure will send to t3..

he gv reasons or excuses again..
saying he is do bz with his work
then fri he off and sat his bday..
so asking me whether could postpone tilll nxt week,,,,,,
ermm, could i say NO??
i wont to him..
i feel myself going back to the previous us..
but in the midddle of everything happening, i stopped..
i stopped all the mind of gong back to previous
its the best i believe..
as i noe myself well..
its will jz create another incident of me hurting myself again..
so i stay away from him..

i had a dream

i dreamt him..the 2nd time he appear in my dream..
the 1st time, he was at a corner tat i spot him..
nvr said anything, jz a moment among all the crowd..
this time mostly is me n him onli..
the dream start with me n some fren hving a drink session
he came to joined, n i wasnt aware of his invite thr..
i was very angry n took a taxi went home..
the nxt day, he chase aft me n force to listen to him.
the end he try to prove to me how serious he is..
of cz i cant fight n lose to his hands..
but both of us were got punish as he spoilt many things while to prove to me..
however we are hapily being questions and wait for the punish..

i wake up frm slp.. i could clesrly rmb everything happened in the dream
then i wish wont saw him at work..
but veli fortune, he is the 1st person..
n i keep on seeing him whole day..
try to avoid n listen heard or watever regards him..
he tried to talk to me when he went home..
i cant believe, n i donnoe how to react..
so stupid lo..
of cz i try to avoid..

tats how it is

i haven't

its been more then 1 month almost near to 2 months..
things been running in my brain everyday n guessing the meaning behind it..
i tot i could get over it easily then previous same incident..
din noe it will end up lik now..
aft the 'SAM' incident, i had one angry depress week..
til i cut my hair short which help me a lil..
then took a week to think how i wan the thing goes..
it was uncomfortable between the time i had b4 i went back msia for a week
i took alot of encourage to send him msg
asking him to react normal in front of me and wish to return back b4 the incident happened
he did not reply me..
i start feel ignore when i got to noe everything about him thru bout ppl
why have to b lik this??
when i heard it, shall i feel great or irritate??
day by day passed, i found i start to hate listening bout any news regards u..
i don find it interesting anymore
as the story thr does not include me
im pretty confuse the way he respond when i was away
i heard everything bout mentioning my name out of sudden..
if our relation cant start then i hope he could stop gving this kind of joke around
tats reli not funny, it make me feel worst..
'TEK SENG' took almost 4 years to reli let everything go n back to normal..
aft all the hope n care he gvn to me..
n tell myself, 'SAM' will onli take ever less as he nvr gv any hope n care of me
btw i hv knew im not the piece of cake he prefer.
i reli wish i could forget or get over it as soon as i could
n live normally, but it does not allow me
thr's alwis some1 remind me of him n the 'SAM' incident..
to those who reli wish i could live better then now,
they should stop mention his name or recall back all the memories i had with him..
i don ever wan to hear his name any more..

the day aft incident..

i wake up a few times today..
almost every 2 hours i woke up
cant reli slp
its reli rlei bother me..
i woke up early going out wit cheng to douby ghaut then she return to work
i cont going to bras basah
reached hotel reli early before 2pm
i saw him, i proposely wlaked slowly.. make sure he enter the lift 1st
but=.= he stop n ans the call..
the most we talk today is onli 2 times
n not muc
chef kim worried n came over to talk with me
he try to comfort me
but i don reli understand but i knew he meant good..
trying to act like nth.