white christmas

i love christmas alot..
i jz love it even im not a christian..
i love the environment, the feeling, jz everything..
christmas is the most important date after my birthday..
christmas is jz so sweet, loving, n warm..
even there is no snow in m'sia..
i stil enjoy celebrating it..
on christmas eve, mostly ppl wil gather a home n hv their dinner together..
so warm tat feeling..
or mayb sum wil gather wit their frenz n do the count down..
the feeling being wt frenz jz cant descride lik tat le..
hw to tell christmas is tat important in my life le??
christmas gv me hope n dream..
away from the reality world for a moment..
forgeting everything i nd to bear on..
^^ the most happiest christmas for all this 20 years been..
last year christmas was the most happinest..
the 1st time i went out count down wt frenz..
playing n dancing in the crowd wit many ppl..
its so fun n harmony..
btw i do get secure when christmas come..
cz i believe santa noe wat i hv did for all this year..
n he noe wat to do to me..
even i noe he wont appear or is not real..
but he is lik a grandpa telling me everything is fine gal..
he make me miss my grandparent alot..
santa gv me a fairy tales dream..
he is a kind n gentle man..
i hv a fren say im lik a child..
do i reli lik a child??
hwever wats wrong being a child wt hope n happiness le..
nth de ma..
so once a while act lik a small naive child waiting santa n her christmas tree..
isnt it so sweet n wonderful..
hope i can see white christmas..
^^

2007

since wat happened on 2nd of dec..
i din wrote any blog til the last one "tears"
cz i donnoe hw to write it out..
everything is veli complicated , hard to descride..
one by one its come..nvr break..
hvn settled any yet..
the incident on 2nd of dec,
pulling me down to hell..thing hvn cover up yet..
time needed to cover it..but hw long it will..
no1 could tell me even myself cant get the answer..
prob r throwing to me one by one..
veli annoying..tats wat a growing human should face..
then could i avoid it n later onli pass to me..
christmas is coming..
i lov christmas cz its so warm..
but this year is kind of change le..
everything is changing..
4 all this while i hv been say lucky on doing everything..
i hv luck tats wat i believe..
i get a good job the 1st time i worked..
i get a good surrounding..
im hapi wt my life..
i can get a good result 4 the level of brain n wat i done..
but by time goes on..luck oso goes sumwhere else..
there r no more by my side..
everything looks lik getting difficult..
even i hv done all tat i could but..
wat happening isnt as wat i wish..
i din hang the hope up to the sky but..
it cont gving me dissapointment..
deducting my confident..my hope on this world..
wat i hv been keep as a trust 4 my life..
everything i nd to change..
everything is so cloudy in front of me..
family is hving prob..
study is hving prob..
relation is hving prob..
myself is hving a prob..
every1 is wishing im following their instruction..
i missed a lot of things..i wana gain back..
but it seem lik no choice for me..
everything is delaying n delaying..
from genting til now..everything !!
i wish i could delete it..
erase 2007 n restart it again..
could i hv this wish from santa ??

tears..

wats tears??
hw it come from??
why it wil come??
the reasons??
from dictionary tear mean a drop of liquid that comes out of ur eye when you cry..
usually sadness bring tears but..
sumhow happiness do bring tears too..
any1 can cry..a baby, a child, a gal, a guy even a man or a granny..
babies cry to show they nd sumthing..
child cry cz they r sad..
adult cry may cz of hapi or sad..
as human growth they bcome more n more complicated..
im not sure wat a guy cry for..
but tears for a gal is to release their stress..
it might cz they r too happi or too sad..
sumtime tears may not come out of our eyes..
but from sum other place lik our heart..
when is too pain a hurt..
tear is another medicine of curing the wound..
if tear came from happiness
is the best of it..
sumtime cz too touching or too happi le..
tears auto come out..tats the great part..
try b4 laugh til lik cry?? i hv try tat so many times..
hwver been long time din happen on me le this..
hope i hv tears to cure me..
cz i cant hardly get a drop of it..