reaction of mixture feeling

its been few days im back from my leave..
its weird how it feel..
i heard alot,think alot,n listen alot..
i din talk muc, as i donwan to speak any..
tat kind of feel donwan to talk n jz wana to listen is back..
am i tired of talking?? or i jz wan to listen frm every1??
it seem lik every1 is bz wit their own life??
ppl seem to forget the not obvious person in this world
the worst, ppl seem ignore..
really veli unhapi wit this kind of feeling..
keep on telling myself not to think so muc.
even today we sit in the same office jz side by side..
i donnoe how should i start the conversation..
1st time we been keep silent when alone..
the more we talk the more i feel uncomfortable..link to nowhere that i should..
understand something in the world could not b force..
but to jz gv up, isnt lik me..
this time, its lik 2nd tek seng inccident happen again..
the diff is diff place, diff character..
should same ending as well..
recently i think of alot pharses out..
but din write it out..
eventually, no1 will care wats it is, how it is, ...

2nd day back ipoh-11th march 2011

since ytd i slpt late, today i oso wake up late..hehe
i would said today its a rainning day..
noon it was rainning..at night as well..
wat have i did today??
i went out to tesco to buy something..
like hangers to my clothes, mirror for me to make up..
some make up accessories that i need.
then went home to drop all the food n items we bought..
aft a while, me n mum went out to ah ming sifu's place..
ermm, actually during cny i planned to ask him something..
it may sound funny tat i would trust wat he said..
but i do, mayb it do comfort myself wherever im lost..
this time, he said im ok thru out the year..
jz ndto take care of my meal..less spicy sour and cold food..
career, sure will hv promotion n increase of salary..
i did ask whether its a suitable year for me to study..
i could study til im 28years old..
tats wat he mention..
i do hv alot "siao ren", i do believe so..
ask about staying wt another rabbit hows tat..
he gvn me some advices..i reli hope nth muc happened..
of cz in front mum i din ask bout my love life..
however mum asked for me..
he mention i will get marry when i reached 28 years old..
when im 33years old i will blame my partner for disablity in life..
which i bellieve i will, as im quite demanding..
thru the years i will hv short term love..
he donwan to said muc on it..
as he scare i will refer it to wat i hv..
aft i back home, i keep on thinking whether i should confront it..
no matter its my life partner or not..
as long as i did it b4..
and as alwis i said, dont regret with wat have done..
he oso mention this year im reli emo n confuse with wat i wan..
seem quite true, i reli donnoe how should i walk the road now..
anyway aft dinner at home, i start do facial for elder sis..
then my turn..
of cz i know tomolo i will not have muc time..so i start to do my nail polish le..
suddenly feel abit bored..
reli wan to find some1 to talk with..
but donnoe who i wana chat with..
sometime, i think..
its tat difficult to get some1 accompany along the road of life??
its tat true wat i heard that im too naive??
believe in fairy tale??
believe in true love?
n i alwis ask when is my turn to find this mr right?

1st day back ipoh-10th march 2011

this morning just reach ipoh..
did nth much then had a breakfast then went home take a nap n cont my lunch outside n sleep again later on..
at night went out with siew lon, as both of us too silly nth to do..
so we went out yum cha..
reached home plan to cont finish my drama..
have no idea with my itchy hands n fingers..
oledi in my mind not to post any update in facebook..
but keep on n on updating myself..
haiz..
the end still post some status hints how miss i am to him..
nvr la..the worst things i did was i view chee hong profile again..
=.=" donnoe why the hand will type his name on the search column..
donnoe reli wat make me view his profile the second time..
i noe everytime i view it, i sure feel uncomfortable n sad..
n i will start think alot of nonsense..
this reli cross my mind..
if tat time i manage to get into UUM..
we manage to meet up again thr..
how would everything be??
will he scare n come over to confront me??
how will he react when see me??
will he spread rumors?
if one day he saw me, wat his respond??
will he still rmb me??
its pretty sad with all this wonders in mind..
its reli silly still thinking of him "chin yan'
but i cant stop it..
like the rest of them, i cant stop recalled back all the past we spent..
the worst i still wonder if we din end wat will tat b??
ah mun ah mun, wake up la!!!!!

happening feb

seem lik the whole feb is so happening..
early month cny..
go back met so many frenz..
n between of cz did happened something..
i was in relationship wt a fren few days..
but it din go well in certain reason..
so we decide to end this relation aft i back to sg..
i met jay, ian, and some other fren lik khye chuan, siew lon, wengkit..
then when i back every1 was so hapi to know im in relation..
but then they din noe it was a few days ago onli
im ok de..i din cry, i din angry, i din throw temper..
veli ok..
yea, actually during the cny in ipoh, i met a fren ian..
we actually plan to spend a day together..
however he misarranged his timetable..
so i follow his plan to visit a fren at gopeng..
of cz with others frenz of him lo..
one of his fren look alike chee hong..
reli alike de..but i believe he is better then chee hong de..
so we did spend a day together, which din manage to visit the fren at gopeng as the traffic jam..reli crazy crowded oo..
so we went to his home at tasek..1st time i went his house..
then get a dinner..during dinner another fren frm ipoh came n joined us for dinner..
i couldnt recall where i met him b4..so do him..
haha..i believe 1 day sure i will noe where i met him b4 de..
then i met jay, he seem lik cant believe he went out wt a gal n go dinner at foodcourt...hahah..
but the end a lil bit scary as he hints abit to me >.<
anyway jz treat him as good fren tat could talk about anything..
khye chuan, nth special then last time..he still trying to impress n get to noe me welll..
a good fren..sometime feel guilty to him
back to sg le aft the long holiday..
now i start to bz wt a few things..
ready to pack n move to another room with vic..
looking for another new job..went for an interview..
talked to many ppl..
start to realise i could reli let him go..
who i mean?? of cz my monitor la..
hahaha..at last i sucessfully let him go but sure will put him at important place..
still take care him but the feel has gone..
^^
and march will b another bz month to write down all happening..