weird

today im off..
staying at home whole day..
mayb cz too muc time alone..
i start to think alot of things..
kind of weird in this world..
alot of things doesnt happen as wat expected..
i watch a movie by alex fong n stephy which i bought long time ago..
i listen alot of alex's songs n video..
realise tat alot of his motion affect my life..
^^ should i said tats good?
anyway, back to the issues i think of n after watching the movie..
i feel the world reli a weird place..
u wont noe will happen..
wats truth n wats not..
i feel quite down thinking about it..
tot of telling my fren..
but couldnt see him on9..
i felt guilty to him as well..
im not sure whether he still feel the same way a not..
but im firm tat no matter how great we are..
we couldnt make it..
is hard to find a person tat could read ur mind..
who noe wats ur nd on the spot..
without a word from urself..
who spent the time with u when u needed him..
is weird isnt it?
but is it meant to be?
recently i was so bz working, everyday almost work more then 10 hours..
n automatic i forgotten this, n i oso forgotten tat some1 waiting thr..
some1 who take me so important but i alwis left him behind..
its alwis weird tat when u needed a thing, it wasnt thr for u..
but when u get it, u don feel lik hving it anymore..
fan jing..
same as when falling in love..
is hard to get a person tat in the return..
my sis said tat she is loyal, n i laugh on her tat she isnt..
n she will mention the usual name..tek seng..
this name seem familiar, been part of my life..
some1 tat important to me once upon..
but how about now? donnoe le..
when i hang around with my caring frenz..
whenever they mention his name, i try not to react..
make it no matter, but it was hurt..i still would lik to heard some news from him..
even it hurt..even i noe i shouldnt..
i couldnt imagine how my life will end up..
^^ even i wish i could tell my fren wat happened..but i couldnt
the 1st time i din tell hm anything tat i wish to tell..i keep it
i scare will hurt him n i donnoe how to tell him..
im sure he will forgive me..
sort of silly me..but i reli feel tat im stupid..
i wish i could be wat i am whenever im not alone..
i look tough among my frenz, they depend on me sometime, im calm, im smart sometime..
but im not..i hope im not tat forgiving, i hope im not tat kind, i hope im not tat patient..
i hope i wil hate whoever i wan, i can tell watever i wan..
any1 noe wat reli inside thinking of..??
im forgetful but i alwis remember those i should forget..
^^