wed nite

i was working 3pm yesterday..
when i reach shah came n told me tat i got to work split shift instead of come in 6pm..
as thr was an error in my roster.. =="
as my info, eddie will going for the drink tat nite..
i was still wondering whether to attend the party..
so i said i nd to check it up n get back to him..
but at last i decided to attend n today will keep on coming for split..
when i off duty, reeve was thr waiting me to go together..
i wasnt expect tat..as i told him to go 1st..
somehow i don feel comfortable anymore,
as i could feel, he getting more curious n worry on my issue..
this will link ppl thinking both of us couple but it isnt..
reach thr, eddie wasnt thr..
we were drinking n drinking..
some GP guys were thr..
ah wui, steven, kelvin khoo, calvin chai and ah yang oso thr..
i was reli drunk til i cant stand propably..
keep on laugh n laugh..
i don feel good as the whole nite i din spent a single cent..
cab, drink, food... everything was paid for me.. =="
i step on steven's toes 3 times..
after finish at golden miles..
GP guys said they will go for 2nd round at clarke quay..
i wanted to join them, but i wasnt allow to..
the end, i went back wt yang same cab..
poor guy sent me home, n got to walk back home..
on the way back, i ask him a few ques..
ask why eddie wasnt thr..
i din feel any at that moment..
but today i reli feel down after think n think the ans i got..
he wasnt thr cz his gf doesnt wan him to be thr..
n i got another news is, he get promoted..to cook 1
when i think back, who will be the possibillty his gf.. the 1st i tot of is olivia..
the feel doesnt feel great..relli..i mean it..

" BOYFRIEND "

me n chay ting went out yesterday nite..
she came to majestic bar to wait me off..
it was early we finsih at 1230 on sat nite..
then we ahead to clarke quay..
she told me eddie sms her sudden on a day..
jz a normal chat wt him..
he lost his phn, wasnt hapi working oscars..
he might plan to leave oscars or sg..
we were trying to look for a bar tat wit leng chai..
but end up, we jz choose a bar n sat down for a drink..
as we were to tired to walk around anymore..
we choosen " fashion bar"
we start wt each a bottle of caslberg..
start talking about guys..
she told me how's her work all..
suggest how to face it..
then talk about guys guys guys guys..
we found out we feel better wt this topic without ivoen..
cz of her opinion on guys..
we talk about hows the past relation,
wat kind of qualities we looking at..
all about girls talk..
she searching a tall, mature, rich guy commonly..
im looking for a mature, loving, ambitious guy..
both oso looking for a average looking guy..
lol..even imagine who won be the bf post..
if even we could marry..haha..
n tat nite i got myself 2 bottles of beers..
both of us kind of desperate to get a bf..
but jz doesnt hv a rite candidate around..
actually the qualities tat we ask for doesnt make us get a bf..
cz those qualities, isnt easy to get in a person..
not even we could do so..
a educated, well manner,average looking, ambitious,caring, abit of bad guy image,"tai nam yan"..lol..alot of qualities we state out..
we should name the person as mr ideal boyfriend..
which alwis n forever mayb as an ideal, but nvr come truth..
been long time nvr had a good talk wt..
after 3am..the place is close, i went n join bert n g at spice..
chay ting was too tired, so she went home de..
had a supper n lik usual, we walk to orchard as g insist to wait for mrt..
bert wana to go by cab but accompany g to orchard..
on the way walking to orchard, i believe im drunk..
i keep on laughing n laughing, till tears drop..
they veli worry n ask me to go home 1st instead follow them..
frankly speaking i reli reli reli tired lei..
jz reach home around 530 n staright away fall asleep le..

movie alone

i went for a movie alone today..
cz is been a few week im alone staying in the room without going any place or doing muc..
somemore feel lik catching a movie but thr's no1..
so i choose a movie i could watch myself..
" Harry Potter And The Half-blood Prince"
is a 2hours n 30min movie..
b4 going for the movie,
i get to a restaurant to fill up my empty stomach since i wake up..
" The Soup Restaurant "
i get a plate of yang chow fried rice, a bowl of soup n a glass of tea..
the yang chow fried rice, is quite nice but compare wat i had last time..
its doesnt seem as good as the one i get from the person..
manage to catch the movie, jz missed abit at the front..
the 1st time i ever watch a movie by myself..
tot it won be some i will repeat anymore..
but after the movie finished, it doesnt seem tat bad..
reli concentrate on wat the movie on..
i did oso cry inside..haha
when the principal die..
anyway, i hv pass a sun by myself again..

colour of the day = DARK BLUE

today i get to go home early..
doesnt noe should go..
ashley , my roommate told me she got insomia..
teach her a few ways to get better sleep
she ask if i found the CHOYA, help her buy it..
so i wonder which mall i wana go to shop n hang around as well..
then suddenly feel lik going bugis..
stop at bugis n walk around cold storage..
after bought the CHOYA, i hang around then thinking of buying K.A. some herbal tea..
since he is not feeling well n carmelita as well..
then went to AMK Hub near by buy the herbal..
then go home le..
on the way,i was thinking n thinking..
kind of alone, suddenly felt lik wanting a bf..
some1 who can care of of me..
some1 i could lay on..
kind of silly when i think so..
no my attitude n stail..haha..
reach home then on9 til now..
hemm..the colous of the day is dark blue..
y suddenly i put colour is cz i read a comic about colour..
n i felt lik dark blue..
hard to descride,but is not a hapi feel..
jz calm but undescridable, alone,...
is jz dark blue colour..veli confusing
i saw some1 lik eddie when on the way back..
susprisingly it wasnt him..but don feel great missing him..

18th july

yesterday was sat,..
pilippe asked us to come at 4pm..
i knew he wan a meeting to let every1 discuss wat happening in the restaurant..
even i did speak out some,but i did get some shoot back indirectly..
even i don feel great but i noe tats my fault couldnt denied..
i din gv my effort to do my best..
however tats onli knowledge, i could improve it,but when go to work..
i believe i could work better n more responsible then them..
the whole dinner i wasnt enjoying myself working..
after work, i went out wt micheal n some of his frens to oscars..
i do oso ask geo to join me..
me n micheal share the burger since in big portion, then we did soem snack platter..
eddie , john n kok soon worked midnite again..
this time, iz do saw me in oscars,
after geo off duty, he went to mcd to take supper instead of joining me n micheal..
we chat alot, at the end, we talked about him n irene as well his carrer..
he kind of feel sad n guilty of wat he did to irene,
wat a nice man he is..
later on elbert told me geo was waiting me at smoking area..
then i told micheal i nd to join my fren, n they oso nd to leave soon..
me n micheal share the bill, ni went to find geo..
elbert was veli bz bz, so he din get a chance to chat wt us..
he gv us some penang food tat he bought back during his leave in penang..
the whole nite me n geo gossip about oscars n sometime about myself..
i was noted, oliver interested in eddie, i din feel sad nor angry..
jz a bit shock then ok le..
im not clear whether i still love him, but i don mind he got a good relation wt other gal since i doenst match him..
geo told me how eddie nowadays act lik..
a sentence came out from him
"how come u fall in love to this kind of man"
haha..i oso don noe le..jz love him..the points i gave him,
days by days become more less, but i still care wat happened to him..
still afraid to see him..
around 630 am, we left oscars n wait elbert at mcd near cityhall mrt..
on the way i saw the man i wanted to see so long time ago..
he is Chef King Wei,at last saw him..
couldnt descride hows the feeling then hapi..
took his num to keep contact..
i even get a hug to him..haha..
he is the chef tat most sayang sayang me in oscars..
even though many ppl doesnt lik him..
n i realise the way he treat ppl oso no nice but not to me..
crazy miss him n long time din greet him " good morning, king wei"
haha..
chat n chat wat recently happened in oscars..
mostly about oscars, ourselves..
went home around 9am
straight went to sleep when reach home..so tired !!!

mid nite visit

i vsited oscars yesterday nite after work..
b4 i went i had an unhapi time in absinthe..
wasnt hapi wit wat sha decided..
on the way back home in transport van,,
suddenly feel lik going back to oscars..
wentt thr, bert n star worked midnite..
they are having a briefing by iz..
after briefing, iz din go back, she stay til around 230am..
while i wait, i sat at terrace taking chay kway teow..
in sudden, eddie appear in front me..
he went to oppo to smoke..
i was kind of avoid looking at him, but he did something susprised me..
he came n said a halo wit me..then he went for a smoke..
when he came back, we had a small chat..
bert was susprised as well
seeing us talking..
it seem lik worth i left oscars..
but i still could feel tat he doest wan to let ppl noe
or doesnt wan to talk wt me in front of any1
cZ during thier break time, i was sitting wt them..
as usual, he keep on silent..
so i went back to oscars helping bert fold napkins..
we were talking about him..
suddenly he appear as came back to start work again..
around 430am i left oscars..
kind of miss the place..
while i wait at the terrace tat moment, i saw irene, the phua chu kang's wife..
she was alone, n she came to ask for a glass of wine, later on she wana go toilet..
asking me help watched up her belonging..
later on, we got some chat..bla bla bla..
after visit bert n chat wt him..
feel muc more better..i told micheal this morning..
he said i still so miss oscars..

too tired

jesslyne veli tired..
after a few times getting heart broken,
stand up n cont walk,n fall, and cont and cont...
even how tough a person is, is not easy go across by alone..
eventhought, pysically seem normal but do tat reli mean it??
thr's a phrase " don judge a book by its cover"
its reli truth..
jesslyne too tired le wt all this..
tired to handle all this le..
after shawn teng, hving so many difficulty to get back to original..
then up down up down after gving every1 include myself a chance..
then happened this fellow incident..
some kind of simple story line as shawn teng..
which this time the male main player is eddie..
hemmm..
veli tired to think of this..
but sometime when u alone or face some unhapi ..
wish there some1 special to protect n comfort the lonely heart..
but to find some1 tat reli could do so..
isnt a easy task..
i asked kelvin how does he noe if he is in love..
for guys, when it happened..
they onli wish to noe n protect this gal..
they could forgive every single lil things they did..
but do tat happen to me wen i love those ppl..???
jesslyne is veli veli veli tired..

jesslyne oso oso veli veli miss oscars..
so muc..