Saturday, August 20, 2011

doesnt derserve the honour..

its his bday today..20th August..
everything was ok..nth happened..
im in peace..
until she came and told me justin is inviting to hv a drink at the bar later aft work..
i told her im not going as i rlei hv an appointment earlier..
i din noe will come to mandarin..
aft all is his off day..
i refuse to join the celebration.
however i took a cake from the cake shop for him..
even thru isnt my hand made..
but its something lil thing i could do..
i wish i could walk to him, gv him a hug and wish him "hapi bday"
but all this seem so hard..

Friday, August 19, 2011

the past tense of us

its been 4 months ago
and recently i got the feel again.
sad to say i dont think he hv changed his mind
instead i could sense he falling to another person..
mayb he could find more comfort frm her..
i should b hapi and bless him..
i wish i could but the person i suspect he fall to, its a person i couldnt accept..
which this person is so close to me..
everything is not confirm..
its all by my observe and 6th sense again

today i was cutting lemon again..
he was thr, he came over, doing his preparation..
recall back the past of us..
veli long time ago, we use to tease each other everyday..
especially we were alone at kitchen and office..
but this do seem to happen again..
suddenly tis feeling of teasing each lik each come out of my brain
pretty miss that moment..
as it wont happen anymore again
we were quiet silent..
its weird, i wonder wat to start out conversation..
he spoke something!!
he ask why this month 18th oledi, i din chase aft him for menu..
1, i almost forgotten..
2, i don feel lik looking him for tat anymore..
3, if he did, sure will send to t3..

he gv reasons or excuses again..
saying he is do bz with his work
then fri he off and sat his bday..
so asking me whether could postpone tilll nxt week,,,,,,
ermm, could i say NO??
i wont to him..
i feel myself going back to the previous us..
but in the midddle of everything happening, i stopped..
i stopped all the mind of gong back to previous
its the best i believe..
as i noe myself well..
its will jz create another incident of me hurting myself again..
so i stay away from him..