my bday

my bday was on sat..
but rosley said i could off on fri n sat as well..
so on fri i went to jz early in the morning..
to do some grocery shop..
then i rush back to sg to meet up elbert n geo..
we were planning to hv a dinner together..
but i was late as i reach home is oledi 3pm..haha
so elbert got to wait to me as geo got apec briefing..
around 5pm onli we left oscars..
then they told me we will go amk to hv dinner..
i went out from my home in rush n they tell is at amk..==
then when we almost reach it was raining..
so we stop a amk hub n wait for bert's gf..
then we took cab to the location which is veli near to my home..
we had alot of seafood..prawns, crabs, ....
which bert couldnt take it..
but he said as i lik prawn he will order n eat the crabs with us..^^
i was so full cz being force to eat..
then bert n his gf went back..
n me n geo walk to mrt..
geo gone home n i went to cineleisure to meet cheng..
we went ot sing k..^^
the 1st time i felt so tired..i din reli have energy to sing..lol
then around 23 plus we went back home..
then nxt day, i went out around 3pm..catch a movie..my favorite ghost horror movie..
then get a dinner at rits caltron, greenhouse..
the buffet is nice but i prefer the service n dessert part of it..
in suddenly when i almost go for dessert..
as usual wat i did to other gst...
i had a cake came out...now i could feel how paiseh the gst is..
the gal offer to sing for me..
but i rejected..
i got alot of msg from fren..
the earliest is bert , then the most on time is geo..
unexpected is kar chuan. then as i waiting for, tek seng..
i got most of the things i lik it..
bert, geo n bert's gf get me a Puma jacket which the latest..
cheng got me some cosmetic..
n her bf n herslef get me another present which is jacket..
then bang bang get me a brecelet..
i got the most unexpected earring which i love the design even is simple..
reli love it..thanks alot ^^

weird

today im off..
staying at home whole day..
mayb cz too muc time alone..
i start to think alot of things..
kind of weird in this world..
alot of things doesnt happen as wat expected..
i watch a movie by alex fong n stephy which i bought long time ago..
i listen alot of alex's songs n video..
realise tat alot of his motion affect my life..
^^ should i said tats good?
anyway, back to the issues i think of n after watching the movie..
i feel the world reli a weird place..
u wont noe will happen..
wats truth n wats not..
i feel quite down thinking about it..
tot of telling my fren..
but couldnt see him on9..
i felt guilty to him as well..
im not sure whether he still feel the same way a not..
but im firm tat no matter how great we are..
we couldnt make it..
is hard to find a person tat could read ur mind..
who noe wats ur nd on the spot..
without a word from urself..
who spent the time with u when u needed him..
is weird isnt it?
but is it meant to be?
recently i was so bz working, everyday almost work more then 10 hours..
n automatic i forgotten this, n i oso forgotten tat some1 waiting thr..
some1 who take me so important but i alwis left him behind..
its alwis weird tat when u needed a thing, it wasnt thr for u..
but when u get it, u don feel lik hving it anymore..
fan jing..
same as when falling in love..
is hard to get a person tat in the return..
my sis said tat she is loyal, n i laugh on her tat she isnt..
n she will mention the usual name..tek seng..
this name seem familiar, been part of my life..
some1 tat important to me once upon..
but how about now? donnoe le..
when i hang around with my caring frenz..
whenever they mention his name, i try not to react..
make it no matter, but it was hurt..i still would lik to heard some news from him..
even it hurt..even i noe i shouldnt..
i couldnt imagine how my life will end up..
^^ even i wish i could tell my fren wat happened..but i couldnt
the 1st time i din tell hm anything tat i wish to tell..i keep it
i scare will hurt him n i donnoe how to tell him..
im sure he will forgive me..
sort of silly me..but i reli feel tat im stupid..
i wish i could be wat i am whenever im not alone..
i look tough among my frenz, they depend on me sometime, im calm, im smart sometime..
but im not..i hope im not tat forgiving, i hope im not tat kind, i hope im not tat patient..
i hope i wil hate whoever i wan, i can tell watever i wan..
any1 noe wat reli inside thinking of..??
im forgetful but i alwis remember those i should forget..
^^

21st sept 2009_back from trip

sat back to work, i was located as runner alone with 4 service staff on floor..
no1 come in helping n been sent..might be some revenge..
but still ok , kelvin voluteeer come in help abit..
at the end of the day, i swellon my right ankle..
reli painful, til i went up n down stair donnoe scream or laugh..
reach home reli sleepy..
cz the nxt day i nd to meet up ivan at bugis for something amway meeting..
but when i wake up on sun morning, my leg was damn pain tat i couldnt stand up..
so gv up going by sms ivan regardness it..
i cont my sleep then wake up do some cross stitch..
luckily feel better later on, i went to market to take my lunch n bought some magazine n food..
reach home == cont cross stitch, then took a nap..
che wui called me, he jz finished work..
tot wana meet up, but since im home then cxl..
then i plan to go to catch a movie..
decided either "the ugly truth" or "up"
but "up" wasnt shown in amk hub cinema..
so i watch " the ugly truth"
n i reli enjoy watching tat..
is funny movie, but some statements they mention,keeping on playing in my brain..
went home,on9 n on9 n on9..
lol..i on9 till 630 in the morning fall asleep while chatting wt G..
then sleep sleep wake up, keep on on9..
haha..i din turn off my lappy ei..
then on9 on9 til the time ready to work lo..
go work stil the same, the onli runner wt 4 service staff on floor..
sha n joe went back as thr not bz..
later on, when almost everything finish..
i was sent back at 10pm..
btw kelvin has found a new job le...
2 weeks later he will be leaving absinthe..
tonite, bert reach sg le..
he plan to meet ivan tml at 330pm..

18th sept 2009_genting trip

went for a trip to genting this time,
took 3 days leave- wed, thur, fri
n tomolo i gotto go back work le
wed, i din work..whole day at home, wait bert n geo finished work..
then go jb together, but b4 tat, we met at amk mrt..
then went to sembawang mrt to met up wt bert's gf at 610pm..
b4 the time come, we went to take a dinner..
after that it was raining outside..
we went to kanji to met up geo's bro as well around 630pm..
then go to jb n reach thr around 9pm ba..
catch a sg movie-"where got ghost"
done we went to take bus num n wait awhile at mamak stall..
the bus was at 11pm..
we took a small van to a place then change to bus..
all the way the bus was so shaking, couldnt reli take a nap..
woke up went reach seremban..
all the way jz looking out of the window..hemm..
reach genting around 5 in the morning..
we left the luggage at the bell desk, went to took early breakfast..
as im hungry le haha..
as normal, bert ahead to CASINO !!
i walk around thr, with some intro by MR G how the game work..
found nth interesting, i went out hang around..
walk here n thr..refresh all those old memories..
tot go catch a sunrise at lover's park..
but seem not successful as wat i saw was jz plain blue blue sky..
then went back find them..
but they still bz wt gamble..=="
so i din disturd them, jz find a place sit down n wait lo..
but accidentally fall asleep..
wake up tat time is oledi 1hour later..
found them, told geo look for me le..
so went out find as well lo..
he find me, i find him..
at last by call, n met at a food stall near marybrown..
then went back meet bert lo..
if i forget some part.
we went to buy ticket,then enter the theme park..
the 1st we layed was the water bump boat ba ( donnoe the actual name )
pretty fun..jz tat the seat was wet =="
then someof us was hungry..
went to nearest kopitiam took the 2nd breakfast..
i ordered a butter kaya toast, sharing wt geo some ham polo bun n a tune toast..
the frost drink was so giant size, couldnt finish alone =="
bert n the rest took the rice lo..
while waiting us finish the food, bert took a short nap.. haha..
n ME !! ka cau kacau a small sitting at another tbl wt her mum..
SO CUTE SIA she haha..
then go for go-kart,the 1st time i try it.pretty fun oo..
should go for it nxt wt mei !! ^^
then after tat bert's gf wana a bull dog..
so try to hook some bottle, throw the balls into the big milk bottle..
for the last chance onli won a small lil toy..but better then nth la..
i was caught to play the space shot wt geo...
all of them not dare to paly, n im the onli one played b4..
sia, i was so scare, cz this time whneim in,i couldnt feel anytj=hing beside me..
feel EMPTY UNSECURE !!!
i was reli reli scare, tears was abit la..=="
memalukan sia..geo was sitting beside try to comfort me..
the end of the game, i was keep on laughing n laughing..
abit crazy after played tat..=="
then we ahead to check in..
we stay at 1st world, 7th floor, room 849..
haha..i try to enter room 846 at 1st =="
then realise was wrong..luckily no1 in tat roomm..
after everything done, gary was sleeping ,couldnt wake him up..
G n me went to buy slipper..i din bring mine..
back to room, he still sleeping ==" n raining le..
try the best wake him up, then go for bowling,
bert was still sleeping, din disturd him le..
the best ever n i finish the game myself..
but the result wasnt good la..
haha, hv a great time, learn abit how to play lo..
so funny !! i do took some video n pic a well ^^..
after tat,we go around indoor 1st world,
couldnt forget the MR GHOST ><"
he terrible scarily lei, where by this guy in ghost make up in black dress..
we were standing at ghost hunting discussing..
he came by, in my heart, ward not to come near by..
but he came by to pass a browser..n i was so afraid..
i ran away..far far away..
then we plan for the dinner le..
survey here n thr..
decide either happy valley the chinese restaurant or go for buffet at terrace cafe..
after went to happy valley, look at the menu, decide some dishes, but they don do reservation..plus hv to choose dishes without seafood n some other dishes tat other don take =="
sound quite complicated n troublesome..so decided to choose the buffet lo..
after tat, we try to look for whole piece cake..
onli could found at baskin robin..
we order a strawberry ice cream cake with some poker cards drawing on top..
haha.then we onli go meet up wt bert..
we force him to take the buffet instead of pizza..
at the end, me n G wit some excuse went out to take the cake..
lol..then bring back blow blow candle lo..
haha..we were reli reli full man..seriously !!
seem lik nvr stop eatting le..
bert wan to go genting casino..
while wait he change the chips..i went to genting palace..
i saw a few of the captain..
cant believe they still remember me..
mayb i din change muc ba..
hv a short chat wt them.. chee seng wasnt thr, on holiday ..
we took outside road to reach 1st world..
walk walk..bert went in the casino again =="
wat to do.. G accompany me lo..since i don gamble de..
we almost finish everything indoor while wait bert..
venice gondola, reindeer cruiser, then rio float..
actually do ride ferris wheel with G n gary as well..
n we saw 2 cute cute boy boy..
one is mr jay chao, n one is mr zhu xiou ting..
we try to capture some of their pic lei..haha
at last they call us le..
we went to catch the car bumper..
they target on bumpering me..=="
we try to play the second round..but by our turn, he told was the last round..
try to play other games as well..but oso end le..
then wat else..i suggest go sing k lo..
we all ahead to Be A Star !!
b4 tat, cross by Safari, i bring along bert's gf in to see see..
wasnt lik last time so crowded..
we sang n sang, at last i knew de..bert try to drunk me so end earlier bring me back..
they can play texas..
as they order a jug of beer..n i got a glass as well..
usually wont allow me drink de..hemm..
nvr scare, i reli drink oo..
then of cz la..
i will be myself again lo haha..
in the middle, bert sent his gf back..
when back, is my turn..=="
donnoe y lei, i was a bit angry le..
walk veli fast n din stop wait them..
reach room, bert ask me to arrange the bed lo..
then they are gone, left me thr alone..
as usual, i start think n think alot..
then come to a point a scare myself, i wasnt dare to stay in the room..
i change n go out..
nowhere could go, i went to downstair, a coffee shop..
sitting wt a cup of hot milo waiting them back..
as they took the key as well..
hemm, but luckily after 15min@4am, i saw G le..
din tell him y i was thr, jz wan go back n sleep..terrible tired la !!
hemm..then around 730am gary back lo..
he told bert he wake us around 10am..
but in the between i got wake up by the door bell rang =="
so irritating..around 10am,G woke up..
din bother him..cont sleep hehe..
then my turn to get ready, then onli wake gary seem he back late..
but i clumsy n careless..
donnoe where put my small phn pocket which got my atm card n money inside..==
G help me find , go back the room find, oso cant get it..
end up he accompany me go cxl the atm card while bert in CASINO again!! ==
then after finish,wait wait bert at casino, wait he finish lo..
but at the end, we decided to eat while wait him..
went to pizza hut n eat eat lo..
wow ~~ reli full full sia..
then we went to take bus num, b4 tat
bert as usual, he paid the bill, our bus fee, n my lost of phn pocket..
bert go to kl, me G n gary go back sg..
we took 3pm bus..on the way every1 was sleeping..
we even skip dinner at yong ping..
we took dinner at jurong then back wt cab..hemm..
the dinner oso veli full, as they come in big portion as welll..
the end of genting trip le..

6th sept 09

this morning went for a lunch wt shah, pau, victor seow, mic n myself..
it the majestic restaurant..
the food wasnt bad, onli the soup wasnt reli taste as i prefer it is..
but during the lunch, so many alcohol i took..
they bought a champagne, then a red wine then a rose champagne later on..
==" i was so damn lobster as usual..
victor treat us the lunch..
b4 the dessert they complimentry a tasting mooncake where they home make de..
then we left, i went o bugis, pau went to east coast, mic to holland village..
shah n victor went home..
suspose kelly n suraj coming as well..
but last min cant make it..
i went to bugis tot onli buy grandma present..
end up i bought all again..=="
went home to drop the things..
then i went out again to meet kok leong..
he ask for a drink..
cz i got slightly headache so we went for a chinese dessert instead of others..
we got abit of chat..
they after tat we went home..
he did ask me to join him on 26th sept to club..
too far away, din promise..
ask him remind me again..
as i become more forgetful nowadays..
yea.. at bugis i got a demo on nail..last went home tot clean up the nail..
so so difficult to do so =="
but after the lunch i was smsing wt pau till i reach home..
oso will reeve..
mic said i selfish.when i nd some1 i look for him..
==" watever la..
reach home, quickly finish up everything,as i nd to wake up early to buy herbal for bryan, forget to do so=="
hope tomolo my headache get better..^^
but recently abit bz wt alot of things..
helping the hari raya gathering for others,
work, organize my personal duty,preparing for the nxt trip wt bert n geo them..
i wish i could finish all up..
n the mst important, rush up grandma present lei >.<"

3rd sept 09

thurs,working 6pm today as i requested earlier..
planned to go out on wed nite wt voen n chay but voen's roster cant..
so we change to another day..
instead going out wt voen on wed nite, i went to jb this morning wt cheng n jane lee..
bang bang din join us as she got work..
we reach jb around 1230noon..
cheng's bf , ah leong oso come along to jb..
reach thr, jane was hungry so we ahead to new japanese restaurant at basement..
at 1st was ok everything..
but almost when we done, we saw some unfriendly frenz crawls at the walls..
cockroachs !!!!
jane n cheng got big big reaction on it..lol
we told the server regards it but he did nth..
the second time, he jz catch one of it..==
anyway, they don hv any app to eat le..
so paid n they went to buy movie ticket n top up the mobile credit..
mean while i went to bank..wat a long Q..
me n jane went for a walk n cheng with her bf walk walk..
we decide to meet at cinema on 245pm..
when in watch final destination..
the movie was ok la..not as horrible as i imagine..
anyway, after the movie i back sg for work..
i ask cheng they all cont to hang around as its early n they arent working..
this time, i din back wt empty hand, i bought myself a pair of shoes..
i pretty love it..
reach work,nth special..still the same..
but i keep on thinking about grandma..
mayb too miss or cz i talk about her wt mum tat day..
btw, kok leong called me during my work..
he call as he around amk..
seem lik he sick le..
we got a chat, as i nd to cont work..
we end the conversatioon..
been so time din chat wt him le..
n couldnt imagine we still got this chance to do so..
i received a msg from jack regards gathering around hari raya..
but unfortunately, i couldnt attend it..
however i had pass the msg around so the rest could do so..
wish tat they can hv a great time..
gals n guys, miss you all alot ^^

2nd sept 09

cant believe i had stay wt absinthe for 3months le..
n how long will i stay wt them??
tats a question i couldnt ans myself as well..
anyway, i reli learn n knew tat in this world tats alot of different kind of human..
btw, today i went to shop again =="
during the shopping advanture..
i call n told mum about going genting wt my frenz..
suddenly we talk about grandmum..
then lead me thinking of her whole day le..
i think she reli miss me, as she keep on asking mum whether im going back during mooncake festival..
cant wait going home soon..
im thinking of preparing a gift to her as this year bday present..
as mostly i couldnt reach home when her big bday date come..
nth muc special then about talking grandmum today..
as my work as i was say of..
nth different still the same..
successfully cross the day..
btw, tomolo im going out wt cheng n jane jane to jb le..
cheng's bf might join us..
donnoe wat will happen tomolo??

28th august

i din noe tat alot of ppl reading my blog..
anyway i wana to said tat im went for a ooutside catering today..
it wasnt a big group, 8pax onli..
at wong partnership..
me n joseph lead by philippe..
i reach company b4 10am..
but we onli move when 1030am..
early thr jz to check the items n reconfirm something..
witout any breakfast start the day le..
was so hungry when reach 230pm..==
wasnt angry in the morning then nervous as tats the 1st time going for outside catering..
when reach back to restaurant the anger back le..
i was so so tired..
i started feel hungry but nth to fill in..
i wake up so ealry i onli could back to rest around 4pm..
due to the heavy headache i got, i could sleep well..
i took more then 15tablets of calcium in one short to kill the pain n help my sleep..
but it seen doenst reli help lik usual..
at last i manage make myself fall asleep in the other ways..
took a short nap 30 min then wake up cont prepare for the dinner..
still hvn fill in, but alot of things to be done..
i reli anger wt shah n joseph..
reli damn hate themm especially shah nowadays..
i try to get some info but couldnt yesterday..
will be calling for info tomolo..
hope could gets some useful info..
i reli not in the condition..
i reli got a bad headache..
around 1030pm i called philipppe to request home..
i couldnt take it anymore..
im reli reli tired, n the headache make me lik dying..

27th august

today again i veli veli damn angry..
tilll i feel lik throw everything out everywhere..
this morning i came onli me n sha were in the restaurant..
as usual joseph was nvr on time..
zack was late..
anyway, lunch wasnt bz, tat si joseph may irritated him tat i was oso veli feel in the kitchen..
he caught me to do this n tat..
n he wasnt doing any..==
veli irritating sia !!!!!
somemore nowadays he lik to push me or slap my shoulder or watever la..
man, i don lik it lo..
but he still keep on doing it..
kelly did ask me to scold him if he did it again..
talking to this kind of human is jz wasting my time..
is not ta i wan to be calculative, but shah isnt being fair enuff..
as this dinner, joseph was going home earlier..
left every1 at the back..
if he is going back early, tats no reason i cant go back as well..
he is runner wt carmelita, is going back..
after i settled everything on floor, i nd to go in to help carmelita as well..
wat the hell its this..
plus i nd to prepare the catering item for tomolo..
he din even let me to prepare when the gst wasnt alot..
n most of the things was settle..
im reli angry, n don feel tats fair enuff for me..
he is the captain getting more paid then me..
n wat the hell i nd to do n work more then him..
is tat being fair enuf..
later on, i found tat im going for the catering tomolo wt joseph as well..
it add on my anger somemore..
i nd to be in the restaurant by 1030am..
is jz 30 min earlier then usual..
but wasnt the main item, the thing is..
i susposed to work at 6pm on fri, i nd to come early in the morning,i don mind le..
somemore joseph was the one who should come at 3pm oso come on morning...
but he get to go home b4 10pm n i nd to stay n prepare everything n settle the back area for him as well..
plus im onli the waitress he is the captain..
is tat fair enuff for me..
unleast tomolo after catering back i was the onli one could go back, no dinner work for me..
but i don think i still will hapi about it..
im getting more stress n stress nowadays..
mayb i should plan go wt my frenz to genting to release my stress..
n wt veli frank word to tell philippe about it..
somemore im thinking of resigning..
i don think i could stand until the end of the year..
but 1st of all.. nd to do some research of some infomation..
i was so angry, when finish tat time, i was the onli one who going back by transport..
zack as usual take a ride wt sha..
kelvin bakc wt chef..
im sure suraj will take a ride as well..
so im the one onli going back by transport plus nd to wake up earlier..
everything me..walau..

25th august - eyes prob

today i din work le..
mc again..it serious this time..
my eyes are so sensitive..tat i cant wear lenses for 2 weeks..
actually was planing to go work..
but on the way out, the eys were reli pain..
so i sms philippe telling him i mc..
since yesterday nite i was feel good wt my eyes..
tot will be better after a nite..
so i went n visit the doc..
he gv me an eyes drop onli..
said i cant wear lenses for atleast 3 days..
the best 2weeks don wear..==
plus no make up anything contact to the eyes..
cant imagine i nvr wear make up to work..==
shah oledi complaint i don hv enuff make up le..
now more worst lei..
then i go walk walk awhile then go home..
i sleep for a couple of hours the wake up n play games lo..
nth to do ma..
after tat i do laundry..donnoe why so good mood le..
half way, i wnet out buy fruits..
thinking of eating fruit salad..
onli fruit i spend $15 le..
then walk to sheng siong walk walk awhile lo..
at there i bought alot of snacks..
after so long i feel lik calling mum..
chat wt her awhile then end the call..
reach home cont my laundry lo..
cut my fruit fruit..
then do mask scrub everything..
one day pass le..
i hope my eyes get better fast fast oo..

she bring back ppl again !!!

today i wasnt in good condition..
my lenses seem bring alot of prob to me recently..
whenever i wear it, after a ouple of hours, i wont feel comfortable wt it anymore..
i think i couldnt wear anymore lenses le..
today more worst which my tears keep on blinking..
even now im home without it..
i feel so pain when i blink my eyes..
hemm..
after everything settle in the restaurant
i asked philippe to go back earlier..
as onli the back area left over n joe with carmelita were thr..
so around 11 plus i went home le..
reach home, i saw some1 in the room..
she bring another gal home again..
this gal was the one she brought back last fri..
they went out then drunk drunk de went home..
recently whenever she bring home gal, will not inform me le..
== think i sei de ar??
or im invisible??
she reli make speechless now..
so angry lei..plus now my eyes lik tat..
reli bad luck man..
btw, today got 4 frenz bday
-yvonne foo
-cho chee seng
-alfie
-alex yee
wish they have a great day

23rd aug

today sun , i had a lunch wt bang bang n pat at queenstown IKEA
susprisingly, the food was far better then wat i expected..
we went for a walk near by then decided to sing k..
tot going to clementi but end up at boon lay..
on the way going, we were talking about cheng n her bf..
a place near by to jurong east..
we went in n sing k lo..
1st time sing wt pat n bang..^^
the day wasnt bad..
after the entertainment, we had our dinner near by..
the japanese foodcourt..
yesterday, we out wt micheal, kelvin,shah nzack to a place at orchard..
a place called acid pub..
shah's frens preforming thr..
after tat, i went home as i donwan to join them..
they went to a place called gossip..
on thur i was mc..
i mean it, as i unhapi wt some of the staffs..
i wnet to jb wt bert n geo..
has been long time nvr been out wt them so hapily n to jb..
^^

18th aug 2009

today donnoe y i veli bad mood..
working split shift, handling a tbl of 6 in wine cellar..
but donnoe wat am i doing..
around 230 all gst gone..
shah ask us to rest..
i went to buy my grocery at amway..
reach company around, 430 ba..
i took some snack then get a nap..
aound 6pm i woke up n blur blur do my things..
shah told me to cut the menu at upstair..
again is me, i realise kelvin was sleeping when i reach..
found out the dirty napkin wasnt count, butter wasnt arranged,napkin wasnt fold
one words, lik joe, things wasnt done n sleep..
i reli bad mood..
wat should i said?
i suggest, i tell, i try...
no1 follow, everything expect me to do..
im tired being by myself fighting, moving..
then, joe n zack back ealier then follow by me..
at the way chat wt geo,
he oso not in good mood today..
many prob in bar..
reli feel lik going back msia..
but wat could i do after back??
when almost reach home, the uncle sat behind me..
his hand was on the handler which touched my shoulder..
when i down from the bis, he follow me as well..
waiting at the traffic , he talk with me..
ask whether im from sg or china..
wat a quest he asked..a shy of him..
i don wana b rude, so i said im not local..
tats all..
then he keep on asking am i staying here,
i jz tell him, im not in good mood, i don feel lik talking..
he keep asking whether can be fren..
walao, uncle pliss la..
mirror urself b4 talk to me..
wat age are u man, somemore tat quality wan to talk wt me..
sei far far la..
i din ans him anymore..
i jz cross my road..
so irritating person he is..

16th aug 2009

this few days i stil don feel great after knowing eddie in relation but..
i tell myself to be ok..
i went back to oscars n look for peter about my testi..
donnoe where come the braveness to meet peter..
but when it come..
actually it doenst so bad as i imagine..
after tat, i heard tat elbert hurt his hand..
it wasnt tat serious but he took this an excuse to mc..
==
today sun, i din plan anything to do..
tot if nth then will stay at home whole day..
but cheng sms me early in the morning..
went out meet her around 4pm at novena n find jane jane..
hv a chat in a donut shop...
then went window shop wt cheng..
ah wui call later on , ask dinner together at bugis..
so go wt cheng to bugis..
cheng went home, n i meet the rest of them..
ah wui told me tat reeve's mum hv cook for us..
ask us to go his home eat wor..==
im don feel comfortable going thr..
end up me, wui n yang eat sakae sushi..
during the dinner,, again i heard something about eddie le..
he will resign around dec..
hemm..i wish i don care his info anymore..
but its seem i nd more n more time for it..
b4 go home..
i tapao some food for geo as i pass by oscars..
i wonder why i will be lik tat..
but i hope its jz tat i think too muc..
recently cz of love love issues..
make me could sleep well..
as one of the ang mo in bareatoo, marcus
one of the guy in absinthe, joeseph..
both seem lik fall in..==
veli fan of this, hope wont happen anymore..
i call ivan jz now..
feel lik sharing this with him..
tell him alot of things..
eddie de, reeve de, geo de, marcus n joeseph de..
peter de, shirley from amway de, many ppl de..
as alwis, after talk wt him, feel better le..

a real confirm notice..

it was a bz nite, absinthe is full house n a private room wt 25 pax..
after a bz nite, i got an appointment wt sunny..
but at last din meet as he nd to wake up early the nxt morning..
so i went n join ah yang, che wui, n calvin chai..
they were at geylang lorong 9 eatting supper..
after 1230midnite finish then go there by taxi..
reach thr, they were sitting inside the lorong..
we start talk and talk..
alot, but was the most important is i heard something..
i got a confirm notice..
eddie n olivia reli together..
b4 tat i heard tat liao..
but jz guessing guessing..cz i jz noe tat eddie is in relation..
tats alll..
when i heard tat, i was a lil bit of alot feeling..
a lil bit of sad, pain, blur, broken..
which mean i do love him..
but im alwis not his type of..
all the way home when ah yang sent me..
i was silent, the 1st time i din talk the way home..
cz i keep on thinking of this..
i feel pain..this feel is familiar..
but not as strong as the 1st time i got it..
which i could contol from inside..
tell myself actting tough n strong..
tats wat i am all this while..
i alwis not the type of gal for the guys i love..
one of the topic during the supper is being in relation..
isnt it great being single..
isnt it great not being hurt..
isnt it great not to hv those pain again..
its not easy to handle n control it..
i don wish to cry every9..
i don wish to make myself look pity..
i don wish to hv tat feel anymore..
i ever think will i in relation anymore..
will i dare to do so..
will i gv a chance to myself n another person..
when i couldnt get reply of it..
i hate myself not to hate them then forgiven felt soli of wat i did..
in fact im the wrong one..
i wonder this time how long will it takes to recover..
will i ever feel better..
i which it will nvr hurt me again or come back this feel..
who should i say to?? who can help me??
reli pain, or should i leave this place again..
repeat again wat i did b4..
leaving conrad isnt far enuff ba..

lazy

recently i did alot of things but veli LAZY to write down..
sleep late cz on9 but nvr on here to blog..
im getting more n more lazy sia..==
ok..start wt eddie ba..
alwis talk about him at last..
now start wt him then end wt other..
tats one day i on in facebook, i saw under highlighted..
the title is conrad soccer's team..
inside i saw peter as usual, eddie n rajiz..
it took my more then 1 hours to view n view any pic n video tat related..
i told myself i shouldnt any of his pic..
but my finger doesnt control it..
of cz after view it, i don feel great la...
then about reeve..
i donnoe wat happened..
but i start feel uncomfortable whenever im with him
i don lik tat feel..
he start to ask alot n he wan to noe everything in details..==
when we went out, he will try to pay for everything..
the dinner, the movie, try to send me home even he got to catch a cab..
is reli irritating..
i don lik being control de, hv to report every single lil thing..
don lik been treat lik a princess==
i said a lie to him..he was trying to call n wake me up one day..
but i purposely swith it to silent..
tats 4 miss call..at last i sent a sms said i forgotten to bring my phn out..
i couldnt meet him as i got something veli important to do..
i gv this excuses to avoid meeting him..
when im doing my grocery, he call again..
again asking me alot of ques ==
i hope i could avoid him this moment..
then go to geo..
its was sun, where we went n visited su..
she gv birth le..
i bought a blanket n a set of boy boy clothes..
share wt bert n geo ,,of cz im the one duty to buy it as usual..
b4 tat, i met angeline n lady name shirley, she is edwin chai's wife..
they all oso from amway lo..
after met wt them, suspose meet wt bert n geo at oscars as i wan to find peter..
at last im dare to find him..
but no use, they finished early so i meet them at hougang n hv dinner b4 ahead to su'home..
had a good weekend..
even doesnt did muc things but i meet my fren n reli got a talk wt themm..
during dinner, bert ask me a ques tat i don reli noe how to ans him..
anyway, i successfully skip the ques..haha
he ask me how's my work, any1 bully me anymore..
haha, the excuse he gv was care of me wor..lol
at the end is about myself lo...
i got abit sick recently..abit flu, headache, sorethoart..
all the min min sickness..
khye chuan so worry keep on urgent me to see doc..
but at last i din see oo..
now i think i nd drink more n more water..
as i got ulsers le ==..
but flu ok le, headache better le..
so i hope all the sickness away away from me far far oo!!!!
haha..

wed nite

i was working 3pm yesterday..
when i reach shah came n told me tat i got to work split shift instead of come in 6pm..
as thr was an error in my roster.. =="
as my info, eddie will going for the drink tat nite..
i was still wondering whether to attend the party..
so i said i nd to check it up n get back to him..
but at last i decided to attend n today will keep on coming for split..
when i off duty, reeve was thr waiting me to go together..
i wasnt expect tat..as i told him to go 1st..
somehow i don feel comfortable anymore,
as i could feel, he getting more curious n worry on my issue..
this will link ppl thinking both of us couple but it isnt..
reach thr, eddie wasnt thr..
we were drinking n drinking..
some GP guys were thr..
ah wui, steven, kelvin khoo, calvin chai and ah yang oso thr..
i was reli drunk til i cant stand propably..
keep on laugh n laugh..
i don feel good as the whole nite i din spent a single cent..
cab, drink, food... everything was paid for me.. =="
i step on steven's toes 3 times..
after finish at golden miles..
GP guys said they will go for 2nd round at clarke quay..
i wanted to join them, but i wasnt allow to..
the end, i went back wt yang same cab..
poor guy sent me home, n got to walk back home..
on the way back, i ask him a few ques..
ask why eddie wasnt thr..
i din feel any at that moment..
but today i reli feel down after think n think the ans i got..
he wasnt thr cz his gf doesnt wan him to be thr..
n i got another news is, he get promoted..to cook 1
when i think back, who will be the possibillty his gf.. the 1st i tot of is olivia..
the feel doesnt feel great..relli..i mean it..

" BOYFRIEND "

me n chay ting went out yesterday nite..
she came to majestic bar to wait me off..
it was early we finsih at 1230 on sat nite..
then we ahead to clarke quay..
she told me eddie sms her sudden on a day..
jz a normal chat wt him..
he lost his phn, wasnt hapi working oscars..
he might plan to leave oscars or sg..
we were trying to look for a bar tat wit leng chai..
but end up, we jz choose a bar n sat down for a drink..
as we were to tired to walk around anymore..
we choosen " fashion bar"
we start wt each a bottle of caslberg..
start talking about guys..
she told me how's her work all..
suggest how to face it..
then talk about guys guys guys guys..
we found out we feel better wt this topic without ivoen..
cz of her opinion on guys..
we talk about hows the past relation,
wat kind of qualities we looking at..
all about girls talk..
she searching a tall, mature, rich guy commonly..
im looking for a mature, loving, ambitious guy..
both oso looking for a average looking guy..
lol..even imagine who won be the bf post..
if even we could marry..haha..
n tat nite i got myself 2 bottles of beers..
both of us kind of desperate to get a bf..
but jz doesnt hv a rite candidate around..
actually the qualities tat we ask for doesnt make us get a bf..
cz those qualities, isnt easy to get in a person..
not even we could do so..
a educated, well manner,average looking, ambitious,caring, abit of bad guy image,"tai nam yan"..lol..alot of qualities we state out..
we should name the person as mr ideal boyfriend..
which alwis n forever mayb as an ideal, but nvr come truth..
been long time nvr had a good talk wt..
after 3am..the place is close, i went n join bert n g at spice..
chay ting was too tired, so she went home de..
had a supper n lik usual, we walk to orchard as g insist to wait for mrt..
bert wana to go by cab but accompany g to orchard..
on the way walking to orchard, i believe im drunk..
i keep on laughing n laughing, till tears drop..
they veli worry n ask me to go home 1st instead follow them..
frankly speaking i reli reli reli tired lei..
jz reach home around 530 n staright away fall asleep le..

movie alone

i went for a movie alone today..
cz is been a few week im alone staying in the room without going any place or doing muc..
somemore feel lik catching a movie but thr's no1..
so i choose a movie i could watch myself..
" Harry Potter And The Half-blood Prince"
is a 2hours n 30min movie..
b4 going for the movie,
i get to a restaurant to fill up my empty stomach since i wake up..
" The Soup Restaurant "
i get a plate of yang chow fried rice, a bowl of soup n a glass of tea..
the yang chow fried rice, is quite nice but compare wat i had last time..
its doesnt seem as good as the one i get from the person..
manage to catch the movie, jz missed abit at the front..
the 1st time i ever watch a movie by myself..
tot it won be some i will repeat anymore..
but after the movie finished, it doesnt seem tat bad..
reli concentrate on wat the movie on..
i did oso cry inside..haha
when the principal die..
anyway, i hv pass a sun by myself again..

colour of the day = DARK BLUE

today i get to go home early..
doesnt noe should go..
ashley , my roommate told me she got insomia..
teach her a few ways to get better sleep
she ask if i found the CHOYA, help her buy it..
so i wonder which mall i wana go to shop n hang around as well..
then suddenly feel lik going bugis..
stop at bugis n walk around cold storage..
after bought the CHOYA, i hang around then thinking of buying K.A. some herbal tea..
since he is not feeling well n carmelita as well..
then went to AMK Hub near by buy the herbal..
then go home le..
on the way,i was thinking n thinking..
kind of alone, suddenly felt lik wanting a bf..
some1 who can care of of me..
some1 i could lay on..
kind of silly when i think so..
no my attitude n stail..haha..
reach home then on9 til now..
hemm..the colous of the day is dark blue..
y suddenly i put colour is cz i read a comic about colour..
n i felt lik dark blue..
hard to descride,but is not a hapi feel..
jz calm but undescridable, alone,...
is jz dark blue colour..veli confusing
i saw some1 lik eddie when on the way back..
susprisingly it wasnt him..but don feel great missing him..

18th july

yesterday was sat,..
pilippe asked us to come at 4pm..
i knew he wan a meeting to let every1 discuss wat happening in the restaurant..
even i did speak out some,but i did get some shoot back indirectly..
even i don feel great but i noe tats my fault couldnt denied..
i din gv my effort to do my best..
however tats onli knowledge, i could improve it,but when go to work..
i believe i could work better n more responsible then them..
the whole dinner i wasnt enjoying myself working..
after work, i went out wt micheal n some of his frens to oscars..
i do oso ask geo to join me..
me n micheal share the burger since in big portion, then we did soem snack platter..
eddie , john n kok soon worked midnite again..
this time, iz do saw me in oscars,
after geo off duty, he went to mcd to take supper instead of joining me n micheal..
we chat alot, at the end, we talked about him n irene as well his carrer..
he kind of feel sad n guilty of wat he did to irene,
wat a nice man he is..
later on elbert told me geo was waiting me at smoking area..
then i told micheal i nd to join my fren, n they oso nd to leave soon..
me n micheal share the bill, ni went to find geo..
elbert was veli bz bz, so he din get a chance to chat wt us..
he gv us some penang food tat he bought back during his leave in penang..
the whole nite me n geo gossip about oscars n sometime about myself..
i was noted, oliver interested in eddie, i din feel sad nor angry..
jz a bit shock then ok le..
im not clear whether i still love him, but i don mind he got a good relation wt other gal since i doenst match him..
geo told me how eddie nowadays act lik..
a sentence came out from him
"how come u fall in love to this kind of man"
haha..i oso don noe le..jz love him..the points i gave him,
days by days become more less, but i still care wat happened to him..
still afraid to see him..
around 630 am, we left oscars n wait elbert at mcd near cityhall mrt..
on the way i saw the man i wanted to see so long time ago..
he is Chef King Wei,at last saw him..
couldnt descride hows the feeling then hapi..
took his num to keep contact..
i even get a hug to him..haha..
he is the chef tat most sayang sayang me in oscars..
even though many ppl doesnt lik him..
n i realise the way he treat ppl oso no nice but not to me..
crazy miss him n long time din greet him " good morning, king wei"
haha..
chat n chat wat recently happened in oscars..
mostly about oscars, ourselves..
went home around 9am
straight went to sleep when reach home..so tired !!!

mid nite visit

i vsited oscars yesterday nite after work..
b4 i went i had an unhapi time in absinthe..
wasnt hapi wit wat sha decided..
on the way back home in transport van,,
suddenly feel lik going back to oscars..
wentt thr, bert n star worked midnite..
they are having a briefing by iz..
after briefing, iz din go back, she stay til around 230am..
while i wait, i sat at terrace taking chay kway teow..
in sudden, eddie appear in front me..
he went to oppo to smoke..
i was kind of avoid looking at him, but he did something susprised me..
he came n said a halo wit me..then he went for a smoke..
when he came back, we had a small chat..
bert was susprised as well
seeing us talking..
it seem lik worth i left oscars..
but i still could feel tat he doest wan to let ppl noe
or doesnt wan to talk wt me in front of any1
cZ during thier break time, i was sitting wt them..
as usual, he keep on silent..
so i went back to oscars helping bert fold napkins..
we were talking about him..
suddenly he appear as came back to start work again..
around 430am i left oscars..
kind of miss the place..
while i wait at the terrace tat moment, i saw irene, the phua chu kang's wife..
she was alone, n she came to ask for a glass of wine, later on she wana go toilet..
asking me help watched up her belonging..
later on, we got some chat..bla bla bla..
after visit bert n chat wt him..
feel muc more better..i told micheal this morning..
he said i still so miss oscars..

too tired

jesslyne veli tired..
after a few times getting heart broken,
stand up n cont walk,n fall, and cont and cont...
even how tough a person is, is not easy go across by alone..
eventhought, pysically seem normal but do tat reli mean it??
thr's a phrase " don judge a book by its cover"
its reli truth..
jesslyne too tired le wt all this..
tired to handle all this le..
after shawn teng, hving so many difficulty to get back to original..
then up down up down after gving every1 include myself a chance..
then happened this fellow incident..
some kind of simple story line as shawn teng..
which this time the male main player is eddie..
hemmm..
veli tired to think of this..
but sometime when u alone or face some unhapi ..
wish there some1 special to protect n comfort the lonely heart..
but to find some1 tat reli could do so..
isnt a easy task..
i asked kelvin how does he noe if he is in love..
for guys, when it happened..
they onli wish to noe n protect this gal..
they could forgive every single lil things they did..
but do tat happen to me wen i love those ppl..???
jesslyne is veli veli veli tired..

jesslyne oso oso veli veli miss oscars..
so muc..

missing

yesterday i went out with ivoen..
b4 tat i met reeve to get back my hp..
left over at balcony after a drink wt him on sat nite..
went to balcony to visit sean ting..
had a stop at oscars, they were quite bz..
drop by to collect my last month tips..
then meet up wt ivoen at HMV..
we went for a japanese food..
taken alot of kind food..
then she plan to buy a hp as she almost spolit the one she had now..
so we went around to look for a hp model..
around 8plus..ivoen go home n i go to mandarin to meet up cc..
on the way walking wt ivoen..
she told me after i left alot of ppl ask where have i gone..
king wei, melvin chua from pastry oso notice im not thr..
then wat make me susprose was eddie gan..
he asked why cant see me recently..
is it i went on leave..
ha~~
ivoen told him i leave oscars le..
now onli he notice it..
i oledi on leave started new job n might get my paid liao..
tats the way she explain it..
reli feel abit sad tat we became lik tat...
is not regret or feel is my fault..
it wasnt my fault..
i did nth..
mayb cz tat time the other one was too aggressive n scare him of..
so he oso treat me lik tat as well..
honestly i do not hate or guilty of it..
im ready to be fren wt him..jz tat don think tats any possiblity..
but kind of silly to say, one of the reason i leave oscars is him..
is quite suffering for both working in this condition..
he don lik to see me around..
i don feel comfortable wt how he react..
he avoiding wherever im..
so y not i leave le..
after tat..i met up cc at meritus lounge
hv a few drinks wt her while she wait her bf off..
we talked about alot of things..
during conversation we mention alot of things lik..
bang soon to act in a film, eddie, tek seng, our family, cc's bf, her work, how big sis in home..
almost everything..
cc ask me whether i still love tekseng..
i cnat ans tat, wat i noe tat we are comfortable wt how we are now..
we oso chat getting pr in sg, about my work...
she is going back to sarawak wt her bf then on 26th will return to ipoh then 29th back sg..
hemmm..
reli reli reli miss every1, been long time din hug hug cc n ivoen..
alwis hug voen, so comfortable, but doesnt happen anymore..

tek seng

again i chat wt him le..
reli reli miss him..
and again i record down our conversation..
those records reli mean alot to me..
whenever im down, listening back will make me feel better..
this time he called me..
the other time was i make the call..
this time he told he was bored..
at 1st we donnoe wat to start wt..
but later on, non stop our topic..
miss those time we spent together..
i hope im some1 important in his life..
some1 he will think of when he nd my understanding, care n joke, my talkative..
wish i bring hapiness to him..
even we r onli fren..
mayb i should start to keep our relation back lik last time tat good..
keep in touch wit each..
but we still lik last time..
ppl wont noe how close we are..
onli between us..
no1 noe we still keep in touch
often call each msn each..
will take time out when nd each to comfort..
i hope this feel will onli add point n not minus..

25th april

today i work spilt stiff..
from 7am to 12 noon..then cont from 530pm to 8pm..
in the middle i sleep whole resting time..
this morning i was with pei see n boram in hotsess..
darlina put a note she n boram oso cant find the other 2candle's glasses..
so in the middle which not bz i call pastry to find out any with them..
as per alvin he told me is at the basemnt but uncle said is at the 2nd floor..
so i went there n get 5 candles glasses..
where by i don und why they cant find it out..
then later on boram n iz was talking about children that boram hate so muc but not baby..
so i add a sentence, so u will teach or said "cibai" to the children everyday la..
i could feel she no more hapi working wt me..
but i don care..
she reply me tat i am the one who will do so..
but the fate who will is obvoiusly stated..
she reply me by saying alot, ask me said loudly so Mr grafe noe n every1 noe tat i said "cibai"..
lol..she got a big emotion about tat..
anyway i donwan so comparetative with her as she is not worth it..
i go back to hostess at 530 helping dar ..
she got something to be done so after the buffet started then she went for her break..
i was having my break wt elbert as he worked 4 to 1 at bar..
this morning i ask iz whether can put me 8am tomolo til 4pm..
since sun usually is not bz early in the morning..
she said cant as tomolo will be bz..
anyway i don feel lik fair as boram will be in 8am but she finished today at 7am..
so i don think they are doing something for me..
im going to bring out the 8-3pm the nxt week scedule as well..
see wat will happened if they do not change it..
cz rite now its not confirm yet..
i hate thinking about work..
cz the more i think the hateness inside its getting deeper..

24th april

3days din write blog as i too tired n no time..
on 22th after work , me elbert n geo went to geylang n hv lunch..
we went to a dim sum restaurant..
had so many things..but not the crabs tong fun..
elbert told going thr to eat tat but onli available after 530pm..
but then he nd to rush back for work..
after tat the dimsum..still got alot of time so we go to to douby ghaut..
went thr to hv dessert at ice monster..
i got a mix fruit ice blended, elbert had the mango flavour n geo the mango n durian flavour..
was so so so full..then elbert went to buy his magazine while me n geo went home..
i near fall asleep on the way home in mrt..
so tired tat day == donnoe y..
reach home, after remove make up straightly fall asleep..
sleep til the nxt day..lol..i think more then 10hours ba...
then the nxt day i work floor..
no1 clear the clear station..
once i cleared the station, i broken some side plates n sauces..
iz din said anything =X
then lunch vlei strong runner..
me , pei qi n roshan runner..
but stil cant back at 3 sharp sharp..
as the auntis din cooperated..
so slow slow they wash things..=X
after work i went home n on9..
onli realise tat the nutrilite tat dar ask me to get her wasnt available in sg..
so do alot of research to see which suitable for her..
i oso call ivan to ask so..
then i play games till around 12 midnite..== so late..
this morning so tired..
working with boram onli at hostess..
tini mc, so i got to be in hostess..
i suppose at floor..sienz le...
she everything oso donnoe ..oso nvm..cant blame her..
evrything oso ken cheong..kaisu, kaisi..
scare this scare tat..
everything ask me..everything oso need i do..==
so headache..fool around she noe..
the biggiest job i think she done is gving out the doorgifts n lucky draw vouchers..
run away check settle by me, dinner resv call by me, buffet close by me, everything me..==
when i wan go back tat time, she still at the cashier..
then call me ask where's the chocolate candles light glasses..
yea, is my wrong.. but can she find it out..
ask me where to find, said later i make her get scold..
watever oso me..
at last still said her usual word " cibai"
so damn angry her tat time..then i reply her again..
argh!!!!
after tat i went out wt elbert n geo for dinner at marina square in the hk restaurant..
talk about many things..then now at home writing my blog..
kok leong jz now call about my hp..
he make hand to me tomolo or on mon..
hv a while chat wt him..
then i told him i wan to sleep le..
so tired recently..
yea mum called me about segi after my work..
she said she cant find the one..reli no mood to talk wt her this..so ask her to settle her home prob then onli think of this..
today is mum' chinese bday..

21st april

today i wake up around9am..
reli got a good good sleep..
then i wake up to prepare to go jb le..
as i nd to tansfer money for my mum..
reach thr almost around 1130am..
after transfer n cash deposit to mum's account..
i went to telekom as well..
as mum said the tmnet line is under my name..
they cant change the line to bercham..
nd i go to change it..
din noe the way go so i took a taxi to go..
reach thr then onli realise is quite near de..
i can walk thr no nd spent RM5 for it..
anyway nvr la...
is actually located near putri pacific..
went in to take my turn..onli 2 person infornt me..
but it takes sometime onli my turn..
after fill in the form n details..
i left telekom n walk back to city square...
reach thr i go to the thai massage..
the 1st time get massage,but it reli quite good after the massage..
can heard the waist sound when she turn my body n waist to a side..
scared me..=="
then my advantage started..
been long time din reli go shop shop..
but i bought alot expensive clothes..
2 pants tat cost RM65(20%) each, a colt cost RM75(1/2%)which after discount..
n some other clothes which oso branded..
as usual i will buy my comic as well n this time plus 2books of sudoku..
when i finished tmnet thr i went to eat at kim gary restaurant alone..
i saw the 2GP's staff thr dining..
then when i wan to go home tat time i go kopitiam eat eat as well..
after tat i go to the beside shop n bought 1/2 dozen "bao"..
is a new openning shop..wish to try long time ago..
donnoe why jz feel lik buying..
anyway i spent alot today, i change $150 to RM as my account not allow to without any money more..
reach home is almost around 8plus at nite..
po po boiled some leong sui..
abit bitter..but cant waste it la..
no1 at home,the bun still thr.i onli taken i of it..==
abit headache i think i should sleep early today..
suddenly when reach home feel lik wan to cut my frony hair..
long time din do lik tat oledi ..

20th april

this morning, im with hostess again..
it was a bz day, pei qi was on floor today..
me ,tini and pei see on hostess..
i was ask to help stn 1 n 2 to turn the table as there's no table for gst by peter..
realise tat ppl who work in tat stn couldnt move fast..
jz set a tbl take 2 to 3 time back to the table..
no1 care about the clear stn, so do the equitment to operate..
hemm..just noe how to blame other person..
pei see and tini go for 1st break..
i go the second break to cover them..
damn bz answering phn..n prepare everything..
after break come up,im in same stn wt star, christine, and hesley..
keep on jking donwan same stn wt star nor christine...
at the end, kak rahman came to help up..
so i offer myself to runner wt olivia and geo..
i help olivia wt the ala carte order as william tat time abit fierce..
lunch is lil bit bz then usual..
we finished things quite on time..
olivia was sent home at 230pm..
after work we wait for elbert to get dinner..
wait him at koufu then he wan to change to marina square..
tot he said food court..
change again to other place..
end up we take KFC..
elbert treat this time..
later on, i go and meet reave ,che wui and keong gor.
ask geo to accompany me as well..
around 9 pm,,,keong gor went to take his motor..the rest take mrt together..
on the way to met station..
geo n wui joke around about me..
from cityhall til amk mrt i did not speak a word with geo..
reach home no longer he sms me..
said soli as he noe he's too over the line..
anyway i din angry or wat..jz wana to make him scare onli..
so tats mean i success le...
when i on9 i saw tek seng on9 as well..
is been veli veli long time din see him on9 le..
n get this chance to chat wt him..
however he seem cold this time during the conversation..
he din say muc or respond muc..
as i guess he went to genting wt kar chuan to see hins's concert..
no longer he said he feel uncomfortable so wan to off9..
hemmmm..so hard see he on9 so fast he off le...
mum call me to go jb tomolo to tranfer $$ to her account ..
so tired till i cant finish the blog and hv to cont on 21st april...
cz i fall asleep in the middle i type the blog..

19th april

morning have a late crowd..busy turn over to brunch..
brunch was at floor, got a few of VIP came..
same station wt geo n mimi..
everything was fine during the brunch..
sean's last day in oscars..
we stay till almost 4pm thne onli left..
plan to hv dinner wt sean n elbert due to sean's last day..
wait at koufu, iz came up had her breakfast+lunch+dinner..
join later by sean..
after iz gone down..roland came le..
chat awhile then sean gone down to take over elbert..
elbert come onli we had the dinner..
then i make a decision to send my hp o repair at juntion8(bugis)
reach thr find the sony errisson's service centre..
i don feel good once im thr..
the service wasnt thr..
then by my turn..
i told them wat happened..
if wan to change the design..
i nd to pay $269 to change it..
after talk wt themm...
i called kok leong about it..
he said take back the hp n leave ba..
then i tell them i wan to cxl the service..
so so angry when she said nd $269 jz to change the cover..
too muc le..
then i went home..
on the way i phone geo tell him everything...
after take bath at home...
kok leong sms me tat he's coming but i oledi at home..
==
then i faster take a jacket n run out to meet him..
cant imagine he reli come cz tot meet him tomolo..
after telling himeverything..
he said is jz small matter..but small things seem alwis big trouble for me..
then talk awhile n check my things..
then he leave as i oso nd to work tomolo..

18th april

today is siew lon's bday..
jz sent a msg in fs wishing him..
yesterday was my off..
the one whole day i stay at home..
i did laundry (clothes, pillow, shoes, bag)
then i get my hush puppies lugagge bag oso..
then i on9 n chat n check my mail..
clean the room..bla la blabla..then one whole finish..
at nite i was chatting wt aunt kelly...
then today i was at hostess wt pei qi n pei see..
so boring..today not reli bz..i got to stay til 4pm as there's no1 between 3 to 4pm..
then amanda ask to go for steamboat at bugis..
so at 5pm, me amanda, olivia, geo n sebastine walkto bugis..
man,, they order spicy soup..
reli cant take it..veli spicy...
hv a veli veli full dinner...
then after work, every1 take their own way home..
i take bus home..
on the way i fall asleep..
luckily this pass the stop..
reach home..roommate was sleeping..
so early today she at home sleep..
anyway i feel so uncomfortable..
the stomach kind lik turning n turning..
abit lik throwing out..
hou san fu le..
so sleeping n tired..
got to sleep early today..

16th april

today i work morning..
after work, i will meet bangbang, pat, chee kin, yang they all..
chee cheng will join 1st but then i believe cz his bf then she din come..
so the whoel was me n bang bang..
pat oso invite another fren which i donnoe de..
after work, i stay at locker n play my sudoku..
after awhile felt sleepy so take a rest..
no longer bang bang call say she finished her training coming to meet me 1st.
so got a fast bath then meet her at raffles city's star buck..
we go n walk n walk around thr..
around 7pm then we met pat n cheekin, yang another fren of pat..
the guys left out abit of me n bang
luckily bang bang got come accompany me..
then they decided to go marina square food court take dinner..
i order ayam penyet n bang order japanese food..
we oso order two more side dish, fried carrot cake n fried oyster..
when we wait for the fried carrot cake, me n bang talk in cant..
the guy tot we are hk ppl..
lol..then we act act we are..lol
i believe he try to kacau kacau us la..
ask alot of things..
then me n bang start our dinner festival..
wow..so full le..cant reli finish all..
as they din take muc of the fried carrot cake n oyster..
after the dinner, almost 10pm then we go home..
but after dining,me n bang refresh alot of our history..
during primary n secondary school..remind me n bang noe each long time n we alwis in same class onli form 1 n 2 not in same class..
the rest we alwis stick together..
got alot of memories..mostly is wonderful de..
so so tired n sleepy..after reach home..
all of us go home, yang go work midnite..

nakamura

the man tat i love b4..
the man i hate so muc..
the last relation i had wt..
the man tat make me feel being fool..
the man left me..
the man tat doesnt trust how i reli am..
the man i din drop a single tear after break..
i met him yesterday as he ask me out..
reli not sure whether to meet him back..
after break up, this will be the 1st time we met up..
but at last i make the decision to met him at orchard's mrt..
b4 the day of meeting him..
i did alot of things..
wat he complainted about me when we together..
i try to gv the best impression to him..
no idea why i do so..
when the time come near n near..
i feel nervous n without direction..
wonder wat should i do n said when i meet him..
we were quiet at 1st..but then were better..
after a dinner at wisma republic..
we went for a walk around orchard..
then at last i suggest to hv a drink..
during the drink we start to talk alot..more personal..
he doesnt change lik last time..so caring n gentle..
told bout wat he is doing n where working..
asking wat had happened to me..
talking about the songs..
the change we have, how we are last time..
alot....
at last we go home then he insist to send me home..
til i reach my flat lift onli he go back..
cz all the way i ask him to go home without sending me home..
i believe he worry i cant reach home cz drunk..
but i still ok de..


anyway he told me he doesnt start any relation after me..
he said he wan to settle down..
he wan to get a stable life now..
how i hv changed..

n i could he reli got a change then the past..
ermm..

12th april

today is easter day..
not to say in oscars was bz,..
anyhow i feel i do hate him..
but sumtime i will sercetly look at him..
i noe he reli reli don lik to see me anywhere..
wherever i am he wil go another place..
so sad of tat..
another case was me n another guy..
he admire tat he lik me..
but this shouldnt happen
as i promise myself from the begginning..
i wil nvr be ppl's third party..
tats one of the point..
another was i don think i lik him..
i donwan wat happened to JJ will happened to him as well..
reli sad wat i did to JJ..
but recent he keep on ask me whether i hate to be fren wt him or even look at him..
i don reli mean tat..
but jz tat i donnoe how to comfront him..
summore one of my team member lik to relate us together..
speard rumors..so irritating..
beside tat today kok leong seache me n chat..
he ask me out for dinner on tue..
i wonder so long but i still donnoe whether to meet him anot..
so sien..
i lost the gal n guy chain..
the one i bought to gv eddie one of it but din do so..
i lost on the day i ask yang to take my hp thru calling him..

recently i could feel thr's these 3person veli concern of me..
which is elbert, geo and sunny..
mostly sunny noe muc wat happened to me
hemm..elbert keep on ask me wat happened to me..
but i cant n donnoe how to let him noe it..
anyway i still got many things tat i nd to consider n i donnoe how tosettle..
i don wish to tell everything to ppl anymore especially my secrets..
i believe not everything could jz open mouth n say out now..
hemm..pretty tired as after work i went n hv a jog today..
on thur i may go out wt patrick, chee kin n yang and mayb john wong as well..
they planning,i still wonder whether join or not..

8th apr

im not feeling well today..
so din go to work during morning..
after visit doc i went a walk at amk hub..
but wat i wan to say is from yesterday i hv felt not rite..
flu, headache n abit fever..
i hv a chat wt kok leong..
i unblock him at msn..donnoe why..
i find khye chuan n tell him wat had happened..
i forgot about wat i told last time..
n now he back to it again..some kind of it..
he is one of my nice good fren..i don which it happened again..
hemm..
beside tat, on sun i bought sumthing..
i told sunny..
he kind of angry,abit..
he urge me not to take it again..
or else he will knead me..
anyway i reli donnoe why i take it..

after i back from leave worked mid the 1st few days,
after tat i din saw him on9 to chat wt him til now..
donnoe wat had happened to him..
everytime on9, i will check whether he is here anot..
but everytime he's not in..

tomolo im going to meet cheng n bang..
i date cheng to queentown..
but after discuss wit bang..
we decide to stay at town..
try to let cheng noe..
but cant get thru her whole day..
donnoe wat happened to her..
as me n bang planned to celebrate cheng's belated bday..
cheng doesnt noe bang will be thr as well..
but me n bang will meet 1st..
..lol..
cheng jz call me said she forget to bring her hp out..
she will decide n let me noe when to meet tomolo b4 i finish work..
^^
sister gathering tomolo ..
long time din gather all together..
so hard as we nd to work n working hours..
^^

7th april

today i work morning..
veli tired..as yesterday i slept veli late due to go out wt frenz..
this morning summore i at hostess..
reli reli stress n dizzy during morning..
mayb cause long time not at hostess..
peter ask me those tat i donnoe..
hemmm...when i reach this morning at canteen..
i sat wt the chef as thr's no1..
din noe he oso work as well..
when he reach, tats a seat beside me..
he choose to sit at other tbl...
reli angry bout his attitude..

breakfast n lunch was so bz but after 2pm all was slow down..
voen said wan to go eat waffle but i don feel of going..
at last i din join n went to buy my blush n go home..
while waiting bus i saw the cold kitchen aunty..
we take the same bus..
reach home i still ok de..
but donnoe why now i sick le..
mayb i took cold bath n recently weather not good..
i oso din take care health..
the earliest even call to say im mc..
i called at 1030pm lik tat..

4th april

yesterday was hin leong's bday..
i do chat wt him awhile today..
i was same shift wt leong yesterday..
still the same he don look at me..
he don smile at me..
when i enter to canteen, he was sitiing wt his frenz..
i believe he saw me n he left..
but i make a move n sms him..
whether he hate to see me??
wat i received is he said im the one hate to see him..
is not hate is scare,
he look so fierce, the 1st nite when working mid wt him..
he reli scare me..
summore i don wish he hv second tot of us..
jz wish to cont be fren wt him onli..
but he seem don und tat..
he call me dear..
he's so sturborn keep mention the name..
do i make a wrong move?
as i should keep things the same way..

reeve as well..
i feel so soli to reeve..
i feel i treat him so bad..
misuse him..
but he seem nvr angry bout tat..
sumtime he oso advised me..
recently scare to get close to him..
as elbert n geo will make fun of us in front of me..
i don wan gv any hope or misunderstand to any1..
as i oso donnoe wat i wan n feel so..
donwan to be unfair..
i sms reeve as well yesterday, telling him im soli to him..
he ask whether im mad, asking am i irritating to him..
he still could joke wt me..
i reli donnoe wat i could do then saying soli to every1..

gan

after working mid wt him a few nite..
i could said he reli don lik seeing me..
che wui ask me to hv supper wt them..
when i go in, a quick one he finish n went out..
n wasnt bz outside..
doesnt wana to talk to me..
whenever they are talking, n they include me in..
he will jz silent..

after tat few nite, i found tat many of the song he heard i do heard b4 while not muc ppl do so..
however tat doesnt mean anything anymore..
i wish i could work mid wt him last time..
so tat i could hv more time to noe him..
but now i feel so..
working in the same shitf wt him reli feel difficult..
dare not to speak a word more, dare not to enter kitchen,dare not to look in,dare not to cross by..reli don enjoy it lik tat..

without words

i think of many things today..
alot n many different things..
so tired n moody now..
kind of weird after tat i cant descride how i feel in words...
but all over is not a wonderful, great feel of it..
i start to hate myself..
think back wat i hv did n done..so irritated myself..
i could feel a num of ppl dislike my appear..
is due to my disability at work n being a human..
i bcome more n more useless..
done sumthing i shouldnt hv make it..
if time could turn back, i wish i could change it...
being a human is such tiring..
i try to enjoy the life but it seem hard for me now..
i try to be angel n nice to every1 but i couldnt do so anymore..
thats no more pure sincere on it anymore..
i did it as its my job n beinng ask to..
no more extra mile going on..


i wish i could see him..
i wish i could let him noe tat im still here..
i wish i could get a hug from him..
i wish i could return to the past..
i wish to be protected by u as usual..
i wish i could hear ur voice..
i wish i can cry..
i wish i noe wat is missing on mine..
i wish i noe wat to do..

dissapointed

today is the last nite i will stay in ipoh...
tomolo morning i will go back sg n start my work again..
hemmm...reli ng sek tuck..
i tot today i could rlei enjoy my day..
but it doesnt do so..
i was been wake up early in the morning to go market wt granny n mum..
then back home watch the drama as muc i can..
around 12noon went out to sent the youngest sis school..
then i went to bank tot wana change my bank booklet..
but din bring my ic out...
hemm..
when to the town, my bag was spoilt....
reach home i keep on watch drama...
then mum cook dinner n lunch today..
sis still so rebel...
sometime i feel to slap her..
i nvr reli beat her b4..mayb tats my wrong..
i donnoe wat to do to make her und wat we think of..
she is smart, she deserve better future..
but she's spoiltly everything...
she nvr learn from the mistake she done..
when she will realise it...
feel hopeless to her...
i reli hate myself...
y i cant do anything to improve the situation...
i donnoe wat should i do...
hemmm...i reli wish i will see he on9 today..
but he din..
i sms him..he said he tired after done an assignment..
so he din on9 today..i wish to chat wt him again..lik last nite..
tum tum, joke joke abit..bring away from where im unhapi wt..
i reli miss him..
i wish to be selfish, i wan to listen to his voice..
but he nd to wake up at 7am tomolo..he should get a rest..
i wish to hear again he sing a song to me..
this few nite when i listen to radio..
i heard the same song..from rainnie yang.."ai mei"
this mean alot to both of us...
suddenly reli reli miss him..
wish to see him..but so far away..
wish to hear his voice but he's tired..
i ask him whether im selfish or considerate..
he nvr see im been selfish, so tolarate to other ppl...
cz tat i cant be selfish to ask him stay abit longer chat wt me, sing a song for me, on9 for me, cant call him to listen his voice...

health

i realise my health is getting worst..
i get tired easily..
tot of going for body check up..
but com firm wit human resource tat company wont bear it on...
the worst is my heart,
the pain is awhile n lil by lil..
sumtime feel abit dizzy..
im getting terrible...
beside tat i found tat i don reli noe how to communicate wt ppl..
i could feel tat not muc ppl as close to as last time...
i found im becoming more n more dramatic..
so false..
i could sum1 is angry n wana avoid meeting me..
im so soli about tat..
some new gossip bout me in my department wt those new part timer..
reli make me paiseh wit all the stories..




i think back TTS n many ppl back..
for wat i did n wat had happened..
wow!! thinking of tat reli make ppl's brain headache..



i received a msg from TTS
i saw him when i on9 jz now..
i read the msg n conversation we had last time..




i believe the rain is coming..
the sky look dark..
tats an email i read the title is "smell lik rain"
the story is about a gal get born earlier the normal baby..
she had a tough time to survive..
but she get to stay as a normal healty gal..
one day she spoke to her mum..
tat she could smell HIM..
which her mum tot she was talking bout the rain coming soon..
n actually GOD was wt her all the way when she having a tough time..
after i read this email..
i feel so touch , almost got tears le..

been long time din blog..
is bcz i din hv muc time..
n i donnoe wat to blog anymore..
now im in the mcd restaurant, one of the branch in amk..
damn shit, whne i come out tat time..
i was so sun shinny hot..
but now it rain lik hell so heavy..
don think of run back or try to get a taxi..
if u run 5 step out onli..sure wet all..
summore i don even bring umbrella..
hope its stop soon..
i donnoe which taxi num i can call..
donnoe any taxi drop by..
later still nd to go out wt liwen n geo to bugis..
go eat steamboat oo..
yea..another thing,im going home again soon..
this time i will be in kl 1st then onli bakc ipoh..
mayb onli will be in ipoh for 2 or 3 days onli..
is actually the main i wan to gogenting..
long time din go thr le..
i reli wish to back thr again..
visit those memories back..
hving dinner at genting palace..at nite many place wish to go..
jz think of tat..i oledi feel so hapi..

10th feb 2009

im working midnite since the day i back from my leave..
same as today as well..
but i don feel great today..
don feel lik talk, eating or think anything..
today is my sis's bday..
i forgotten about tat..
luckily my sai lou remind me of tat..
today is oso the last day of chinese new year which on 9th feb..
whne i come to work tat time..
i saw the moon was round n bright..
so beautiful...
i oso realised tat eddie is no more in cold side..
he's at the western side now..

my ex

yesterday, i went out wit my sis..
1stly we went to parade..
i saw cho chee seng..
after bought wat we nd..
then we rushed to jusco..
i went to the new opening k box over thr wheere located at the end of jusco at 2nd floor nxt to food n tea..
i accidentally saw JJ inside..
everytime i cross by thr i feel scare..
i scare i will see JJ or he saw me..
if can i try to avoid cross by thr..
JJ, he changed le..
i believe he's no more the bar in charge person..
he may b the restaurant manager now..
the way he dress oledi different..
hemm..
cz k box hving a bz time..
they ask me to go back later..n do the booking
so i went to mcd as my sis hungry le..
during walk by, die die i oso din look into the restaurant..
when go in, i cant reli concentrate..
JJ's de memories, how i treat him..all out..
feel so soli to him..anyway hope everything all rite to him..
after tat..when reach home on9 at nite..
kok leong chat wt me..
everytime he look for me, i feel uncomfortable..
kind lik he is asking some favour again..
but this time he din..
when chat wt him..feel he kind of irritating..
he jz lik normal chat, asking how's my life..
but at last he ask for my num..
i din gv...pretend dc then away..
hemm..

my future..

two days ago i went n visit ah ming sifu..
he help ppl predict future..
i visit him last year..
b4 this i heard about him but nvr visit..
i wnet wt my mum..
this time..he said sumthing about me..
haha..i donnoe wat to say..
i don hv to said anything..
he noe wat happened tome, wat im thinking..
over all he said everything is fine for me in this coming yera..
i hv "tou far wan"..
i donnoe is good or not..
hemm..my health jz a small matter..
can improve slowly..
financial i ok de..not prob..
work ok de..seem now many ppl lost job..
i still got a job n get bonus..
the biggest prob is tat myself..
im not hapi..or should say im bored..
i donnoe wat to do..
im confuse wit wat i wan..
when im home i wana go out..
when im outside i wan go home..
when i meet sum1. he may the one..
but i will wonder alot..
the fell still not tat..
all do descride me..
hre's rite..
im bored..
i git everything..
good boss, good manager, nice frenz, nice landlady..
but i still not as hapi i wana..
hemm..

comic book

today i keep on thinking of him..
is actually after i read a comic book..
the story was saying a gal n a guy were classmate..
they nvr speak to each other..
seem lik irratated each..
do not look to each eyes,(invisible),uncomfortable words may spoken..
all this so familiar..
but the end is actually misunderstanding between them..
both tot each hate both n dare not to confront each..
but at last in a incident,
they realise tat actually both doesnt hate each other but is loving each..
after finish this comic..
it keep on going on in my mind..
keep on wondering..
today i din see him working morning le..
i could feel tat he will be in midnite again..
hemm..
wats going wrong wt me??
i still keep on predict wat stiff he will be in..
==