4th April 2012

been sometime i did not write blog anymore..
mayb cz too lazy ba..
recently keep on alwis saw Sam Chin shadow around the restaurant..
but in a second i realise n tell myself he oledi left..
heard he go to australie..
honestly if anyone ask me whether i still lik him..
i wouldn't able to give a firm ans..
whenever i saw him previously will keep on refreshing my brain..
it will keep on making me emo and remind me of the hapiness we got..
but when i got to noe he is leaving of cz tats reli hurt n sad news to me..
cz i would not noe when will i see him again.

other then tat, recently pretty alot of things happened other then Sam Chin..
elbert and vicki cheah is a pair of couple now..
thier match doesnt gv a postive reflect to me...
instead of blessing them, i feel weird and thrs a feeling i cant explain..
this make me uncomfortable for weeks..
even till not i don feel convince wt it..
some of the ppl around doesnt und why i react lik tat..
me myself oso cant und why..
but i noe if this condition cont, it will destroy the relation i build wt bert..
i don wish too..but i reli donnoe wat can i do..
jz cant accept both of them in front of me..
haiz..

on the 1st april, total 9 of us went to universal studio..
it should b a hapi and exciting day..
but i don feel so..
i hv been waiting for the day to go together but the end i don enjoy muc of it..
feel more lik alone going to theme park..
lik a stranger in the group..
don think will go out again..

21st feb

Its a lazy day to me..
I woke up abit later then usual..
Wt a lazy mood i went out earlier to buy my contact lense..
at first susposed to meet elbert for lunch, but feel moody..
Plus got to but my lenses..
Everything like normal, lazy evening til i go for my break..
i saw SamChin was sitting at canteen for dinner..
i pretended din see him..i was sitting at another tbl alone..
When i almost done, i saw ah haun walking out of the canteen..
Hv no idea y, i feel the pain inside..this long time din feel lik tat.
i saw him again at locker, pretended nth..i act act wana pinch him..
he seem veli scace of me..
At the restaurant, SamChin act lik usual when he nd help someone..
Middle of dinner operation, shirlina asked me for computer password..
its SamChin tat needed it aft trying to figure the password for half an hour..
Then end of the day, went home..
In the mrt, thrs three nice guys giving the seat once i enter the mrt..
They could see how tiring my day.
felt abit paiseh, but tats sweet..

great catch up

its been 2 months since the last catch up with both of them..
who i mean??
no one other then Mr Teng and Mr Stanley..
suddenly come out of my brain aft the training today..
since there's not activities and cant arrange any tonite..
i send a msg to tek seng to invite for a dinner..
of cz nvr forget mr stanley whenever we out for dinner..
we seem nvr bored of amk's food..
i manage to stop by home and release my burden of heavy bag with papers inside..
however mr teng make me wait for him as he got a late meeting..
while wait for their arrive..i suggested to catch a movie..
since the previous JOHNNY ENGLISH doesnt reli satisfied me..
n tek seng asked to but this movie called "FRIGHT NIGHT"
from the poster it seem lik some fighting movie..
eventually we went to the same place and had our dinner together..
n tek seng start to be sentimental of able to gather having a hapi dinner..
as usual, mr stanley went n settle the bill..
during the dinner, i could feel some of family and protection from this cute handsome gor gor tat i newly got even we hv known each sometime.
aft the dinner, we went to catch the show..
the show was about a Dracula man trying to hunt this guy Charles as he knew his secret..
Charles with his mother and gf, Amy were escaping n the end they survive lik normal movie..
the story line isnt tat important..
as i rmb this is the 1st time i had horror movie wt tek seng n Stanley..
the important is the moment of watching it wt them..
its so funny wats tek seng and Stanley respond during the show..
life is sad most of the time..but once awhile catching up wt this warm n great frens are jz cant measure to precious more the that.

waiting for the nxt meet in the mid of oct 21st dinner wit tek seng's parent and Stanley at 333 ^^

doesnt derserve the honour..

its his bday today..20th August..
everything was ok..nth happened..
im in peace..
until she came and told me justin is inviting to hv a drink at the bar later aft work..
i told her im not going as i rlei hv an appointment earlier..
i din noe will come to mandarin..
aft all is his off day..
i refuse to join the celebration.
however i took a cake from the cake shop for him..
even thru isnt my hand made..
but its something lil thing i could do..
i wish i could walk to him, gv him a hug and wish him "hapi bday"
but all this seem so hard..

the past tense of us

its been 4 months ago
and recently i got the feel again.
sad to say i dont think he hv changed his mind
instead i could sense he falling to another person..
mayb he could find more comfort frm her..
i should b hapi and bless him..
i wish i could but the person i suspect he fall to, its a person i couldnt accept..
which this person is so close to me..
everything is not confirm..
its all by my observe and 6th sense again

today i was cutting lemon again..
he was thr, he came over, doing his preparation..
recall back the past of us..
veli long time ago, we use to tease each other everyday..
especially we were alone at kitchen and office..
but this do seem to happen again..
suddenly tis feeling of teasing each lik each come out of my brain
pretty miss that moment..
as it wont happen anymore again
we were quiet silent..
its weird, i wonder wat to start out conversation..
he spoke something!!
he ask why this month 18th oledi, i din chase aft him for menu..
1, i almost forgotten..
2, i don feel lik looking him for tat anymore..
3, if he did, sure will send to t3..

he gv reasons or excuses again..
saying he is do bz with his work
then fri he off and sat his bday..
so asking me whether could postpone tilll nxt week,,,,,,
ermm, could i say NO??
i wont to him..
i feel myself going back to the previous us..
but in the midddle of everything happening, i stopped..
i stopped all the mind of gong back to previous
its the best i believe..
as i noe myself well..
its will jz create another incident of me hurting myself again..
so i stay away from him..

i had a dream

i dreamt him..the 2nd time he appear in my dream..
the 1st time, he was at a corner tat i spot him..
nvr said anything, jz a moment among all the crowd..
this time mostly is me n him onli..
the dream start with me n some fren hving a drink session
he came to joined, n i wasnt aware of his invite thr..
i was very angry n took a taxi went home..
the nxt day, he chase aft me n force to listen to him.
the end he try to prove to me how serious he is..
of cz i cant fight n lose to his hands..
but both of us were got punish as he spoilt many things while to prove to me..
however we are hapily being questions and wait for the punish..

i wake up frm slp.. i could clesrly rmb everything happened in the dream
then i wish wont saw him at work..
but veli fortune, he is the 1st person..
n i keep on seeing him whole day..
try to avoid n listen heard or watever regards him..
he tried to talk to me when he went home..
i cant believe, n i donnoe how to react..
so stupid lo..
of cz i try to avoid..

tats how it is